From: Anonymous <nowhere@bsu-cs.bsu.edu>
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 93 17:49:07 PDT
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Anonymous remailer to USENET gateway testing continues
Message-ID: <9308080050.AA26972@bsu-cs.bsu.edu>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


This a summary of the anonymous e-mail to USENET gateway posts that I
sent earlier today (8/7/93) -
 
All messages included:
 
 ::
 Request-Remailing-To: <group.name or group-name>@<gateway>.<domain>
 Subject: Key-Escrow (black) Humor
 Organization: Shadows 'R Us
 
 
in the remail header (per suggestions of Chael Hall, thanks).
 
-----------------------------  ---------------------------------------
 
nowhere@bsu-cs.bsu.edu         alt-privacy-clipper@cs.utexas.edu
ebrandt@jarthur.claremont.edu  alt-privacy@demon.co.uk
elee7h5@rosebud.ee.uh.edu      sci.crypt.usenet@decwrl.dec.com
phantom@mead.u.washington.edu  misc.legal.computing@news.cs.indiana.edu
 
 
 
Based upon the following e-mail to USENET gateway templates:
 
   group-name@ucbvax.berkeley.edu
   group-name@cs.utexas.edu
   group-name@pws.bull.com
   group-name@demon.co.uk
   group.name.usenet@decwrl.dec.com
   group.name@news.cs.indiana.edu
 
 
And also based upon the following list of anonymous remailers:
 
  ebrandt@jarthur.claremont.edu
  elee7h5@rosebud.ee.uh.edu
  hal@alumni.caltech.edu
  hh@soda.berkeley.edu
  hh@cicada.berkeley.edu
  hh@pmantis.berkeley.edu
  nowhere@bsu-cs.bsu.edu 
  phantom@mead.u.washington.edu
 
 
The message sent consisted of the following message:
 
 ::
 Request-remailing-To: <host>@<gateway>.<domain>
 Subject: Key_Escrow (black) Humor
 Organization: Shadows 'R Us
 
 Thanks to <ld231782@LANCE.ColoState.Edu> -
 
 Q.  How many endangered bureacrats does it take to screw in a
     light bulb?
 
 A1. We're not sure, they prefer to hide in the shadows.
 A2. We don't know, we can't find any. Have you seen any?
 A3. You only need one, but each only works once because they
     invariably manage to electrocute themselves in the process.
 A4. You must fill out form KT-398930-0-3893-1z(321.31x*) in
     sextuplicate, "Requisition for Light Amplification and
     Enhancement Device Facilities and Staff Resources and Efficacy
     Data Measures Projections and Speculations." Invisible ink only.
     Reply will be shipped on punch cards by carrier pigeon after
     brief administrative period. Offer void where prohibited.
     Prohibited in this universe.
 
 Q.  How many FBI agents does it take to wiretap?
 
 A1. All of them. One to hold the alligator clips and the rest to
     convince the Congress and American public "he's just doing his
     job."
 A2. FBI doesn't actually `wiretap,' a groundless popular myth. They
     only participate in wholesome law-enforcement activities at all
     times.
 A3. Two. One to do the job and one to botch it. Public relations is
     automatically handled by a new AI program that endlessly constructs
     almost-coherent sentences from keywords like `dead bodies',
     `airplane explosion', `innocent children', `drug dealers',
     `terrorists', `criminals', `law-abiding public,' `American
     businesses'.
 A4. B.C. (Before cryptography), several. After, none. (See also
     `endangered bureacrats.')
 
 
 Q.  How many NSA agents does it take to spy on U.S. citizens?
 A.  Sorry, that's classified information.
 
 
 Q.  Why does D. Sternlight favor Clipper technology?
 
 A1. It's the kind of idea he could have come up with himself.
 A2. Doesn't like to be bothered by details. That's what the NSA is for.
 A3. No unsound idea has ever emanated from the U.S. Government.
 A4. Having been to many subversive foreign countries, he recognizes the
     necessity of spying on them.
 
 
 Q.  Why is D. Denning promoting Clipper?
 
 A1. Peer pressure (all her friends are doing it).
 A2. Wanted to beat the rush.
 A3. Looks good on her resume.
 A4. Everyone needs a hobby.
 A5. Coincidentally got an NSA employee after signing up for the
     Adopt an Endangered Bureacrat program.
 
 
 Q.  Why is D. Denning's cryptography book so successful?
 
 A1. It's cornered the lucrative NSA textbook market.
 A2. The NSA bureacrats love to shred their reading material, and order
     new copies each time they need to look something up (which is
     frequent).
 A3. People marvel at the writing by an expert endorsed by the NSA.
 A4. NSA afraid someone will read it so they buy all the copies.
 
 
 Q.  Why is the Clinton administration wholeheartedly promoting Clipper?
 
 A1. The neato secret decoder rings handed out at the briefing won
     everyone over immediately.
 A2. Opportunity for another authoritative and stunning nose-tweaking at
     `the previous administration'.
 A3. First installment of the fabulous new and comprehensive `Orwell 
Plan'.
 A4. Anything to get those creepy NSA guys to go away.
 
 
 Q.  Why did the NSA come up with the Clipper chip?
 
 A1. Job security.
 A2. Entertainment.
 A3. Scared silly of `economic espionage' monsters hiding in the closet.
 A4. Got bored that day.
 A5. Great joke on those Mykotronx bozos.
 
These resulting messages have been posted thus far:
 
Newsgroups: alt.privacy.clipper
Subject: Key-Escrow (black) Humor
Date: 7 Aug 1993 12:48:57 -0500
Organization: Shadows 'R Us
Lines: 91
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu
 
Newsgroups: misc.legal.computing
Subject: Key-Escrow (black) Humor
X-Sender: phantom@mead.u.washington.edu
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 93 10:49:08 -0700
Remailed-By: Anon Remail  <phantom@mead.u.washington.edu>
Lines: 92
 
Further results will be posted as I receive them.

Ye olde Spooge Meister    spooge /spooj/ 1. Inexplicable or arcane code
<spooge@dev.null.net>            or random and probably incorrect output
                                 from a computer program.