From: SBinkley@atitech.ca (Scott Binkley)
Date: Wed, 24 Apr 1996 09:40:37 +0800
To: cypherpunks%toad.com@genie_1
Subject: [Fwd: CyberDoctor]
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-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------Ma
rk Buckaway                       mark@uunet.ca       +1 800 463 8123
UUNET Canada Technical Support                          +1 416 368 6621
UUNET Canada Inc.                support@uunet.ca     Internet Services
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Received: from cicerone.uunet.ca ([142.77.1.11]) by mail.uunet.ca with 
SMTP id <264090-5>; Tue, 23 Apr 1996 15:26:55 -0400
Received: from ghost.uunet.ca ([142.77.1.100]) by cicerone.uunet.ca with 
SMTP id <177226-4>; Tue, 23 Apr 1996 15:26:28 -0400
Received: from ghost.uunet.ca ([142.77.1.100]) by ghost.uunet.ca with 
SMTP id <52805-24166>; Tue, 23 Apr 1996 15:26:22 -0400
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 15:26:19 -0400
From: Andrew Herdman <andrew@ghost.uunet.ca>
To: Office Support <office@ghost.uunet.ca>
Subject: CyberDoctor
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This really should have been for funny, but I suspect others might get a 
chuckle out of it as well.

Andrew
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From: Tatsuhiro Ikeda <ti08+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Newsgroups: news.admin.misc,pgh.opinion,news.admin.censorship,pgh.config
Subject: CyberDoctor: READ THIS!
Date: Sat, 20 Apr 1996 23:20:16 -0400
Organization: Senior, IM - Graphic Communications, Carnegie Mellon,
Pittsburgh, PA

CyberDoctor,

This is from a pirated account at Carnegie Mellon. This was posted
without ANYONE's permission or knowledge.

I have been watching you activities with keen interest. I am a firm
supporter of overthrowing the cabal of UUnet, and admire your bravery in
defeating this evil organization.

There's something you should know.

In 1967, the organization that became known as UUnet was founded by a
secret military cabal headed by David Lawrence, formally of the DIA and
NSA. I was Lawrence's right-hand man, because of my experiences as the
leader of a black operations group in charge of Psychological Warfare in
Vietnam. One of our experiments was to, of course, manipulate
communications to our advantage. We overthrew anyone who got in our way.

In 1968, it was decided by UUnet to start genetic engineering on humans,
in an attempt to create the ultimate double agent in censorship
activities. We succeeded, and our agents have been surrepticiously
implanted in key points all over the Internet. 

But some of the experiments went awry. I was one of those experiments.
Because Lawrence is a meglomaniac who feared being found out by Senate
probes, he turned on me. On October 17th, 1971, I was kidnapped against
my will by Lawrence's goons. They attempted to brainwash me and injected
genes in me that would cause me to censor anything against my will. I
escaped before it was too late, and have been posing as a college
student among other things for the last 25 years.

After deep regression hypnosis, I recalled that one of the genetically
engineered human experiments was a person by the name of John Grubor. He
failed to fall under our control, and so he was left to die. A competing
secret arm of the military revived him and gave him a new identity, as
well as erased all his memories.

Cyberdoctor, you are that John Grubor, and even worse, you are David
Lawrence's bastard son by genetic engineering. This sick twist of fate
was partly inspired by the movie, "The Empire Strikes Back", Lawrence's
favorite movie of all time.

Lawrence knows that you are still alive, no doubt, but he is not
concerned. Why? Because in 14 days, 3 hours and 14 minutes, there is a
99.9% probability that your genes will mutate and you will become David
Lawrence's identical genetic twin. You will censor and join the UUnet
cabal against your free will, and there's nothing you can do. But I can
save you.

First, why am I breaking the silence? Because Lawrence tried to kill me,
and my identity as a Pittsburgher is being blown. I will dissapear after
I send this post from this pirated account.

I can offer you salvation before I leave, as I have done to other
innocent victims of "Operation Genetic Censorship". Go to the corner of
Wood and Liberty and wait at the Bus Station at midnight. First be sure
to close ALL your email accounts and logoff for good. That will let my
agents know you are ready. Wait there, and my men will come and get you.
They take you to a lab where they will execute you, but cryogenically
freeze your brain until the technology exists to make a new body and
replace your genes. I promise it will be painless. We already have 10
people (brains) in stasis cambers. 

It may sound desparate, but what's worse? Becoming a censor or
indefinite stasis? Furthermore, the board has already decided that this
must be carried out. No more censors must be born. I am powerless to
stop them. I am only making it easy for you to accept. So close your
accounts now, and prepare to meet us. It is the only option left. You
have no one you can trust, not even yourself. REMEMBER TO CLOSE YOUR
EMAIL ACCOUNTS FIRST.

In solidarity,
Deep Throat



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