From: "red" <rednax@tm.net.my>
Date: Sat, 19 Oct 1996 23:14:21 -0700 (PDT)
To: <tnc@asiapac.net>
Subject: Don't ask why, thank you.
Message-ID: <199610200616.OAA02136@gandalf.asiapac.net>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


Why?

Date: 20th October 1996.
        The purpose of life,... is not to be found. I have been pursuing
this
thought and question to many of the people I have met in the past few
weeks.
Sad enough to report that I have found no answers or clues that if anyone
ever
know what it is or could be. One thing for sure is material and physical
objects are close to replacing the purpose, the real purpose if there is
one.
I am still quizzed on how there is a purpose in which we all strive to
attain.
There must an objective somewhere which clearly states,"You, whatname
whatage,
will have to do this, do that."
        Somehow, in the pursuit for the answer I have strained my physical
and emotional self. I have realised what I am doing and that I am actually
directionless, like all the people I know. Doing things for the sake of
doing.
Clearly, I think television or rather, the mass media in general has caused
the gradual eradication of purpose in life for many people. What do you
want?
What do I want? Sure enough, we do not ask ourselves that question once too
often, but spending more time pondering about it, it really makes no sense
in what we do having corellation to what we want. What is it actually that
we
seek in life?
        Which brings us back to the time when we thought we had a purpose.
Could you recall the times when you really wanted something? Or someone?
Why?
Simply because we didn't have it. It's a mass media driven, pointless race
to
own something, which actually doesn't make much sense. I am not sure why
all
of us are acting the way we are. In trying to understand it, I began to
question why I would want to know. Why do I want to know? So that I could
talk
about it? Write a book? Be famous and rich? Be respected? Now, take a
minute
off and think of what you just read. It's from the media to the people. The
people made the media. People are driving people nuts. Is this what we
want?
Once you shrink the big picture, you realise that nothing makes any sense
anyway. And what is "making sense"?
        What do we gain from realising all this which makes us act and live
the way we are? We get to past our time. Since we were born, we had nothing
except time. Shitloads of it, excuse me. So we start doing things. Things
that
actually do not mean much to us but, "heck, I've got all the time in my
life"
So, it starts to generate a sort of hype, "hey, he's doing something, maybe
I
should too." Then another fella comes in, "Well I've got nothing to do,
maybe
I should tell others what these two guys are doing" So the snowball gets
rolling. The moment it stops, if it ever stops, I guess we go crazy. Now
what
is crazy? Understanding why we actually have no reason of being here? I'm
not
going to start on religion, if you're getting my rift here.
        So here we are, pretending that we love this and like doing that.
Okay, I admit somethings are fun but 90% of the time you realise, "gee,
what
is it that I want?" If everyone were to ask the same question at the same
time,
then we'd all be crazy or something, whatever. The problem is, there's five
billion people and each one not voicing what they think would hold
themselves
back by saying "Now, if I say that, these guys would think I'm nuts, and
my..."
Some do get to express, and once they express it, they are lost in the
world
of understanding, they realise that we all have no reasons, logical or
whatsoever, to be where we are doing what we think we need to do. Now these
guys are labeled "nuts" and grouped together. See how happy they are in
"Cuckoo's Nest". Okay, so the interns are a little pain in the ass. But
look
at yourself! We are basically doing things of no relevance. Question what
you
do with "So?" You are bound to realise what you have probably tried to hide
all your life. That we are all alone. That we are all meaningless. That we
are
all trying to hide from each other what we fear.
        No, this is not a scam. And sorry, I don't have the solution.

        I guess we are the same.
        In the dark we are alone, in the bright we skin and hide.


rednax@tm.net.my
http://www.asiapac.net/~rednax

"I have seen little angels turn bad
But that's just because they have grown
Likewise the problems I currently access
They are small matters full blown"