From: Sean Vince-Jillings (Sean Vince-Jillings) (Sean Vince"Jillings) <sean@milkyway.co.za>
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 03:52:45 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Montgolfiering, the Hot Air Balloon of Cryptography -Reply
Message-ID: <s27ca6e6.075@arup.co.za>
MIME-Version: 1.0
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nobody quoth

>Fie on the small minds that cackle at my brilliance! As a Mensa member
>and
>founder of the Society for Superintelligent Former NSA Employees, I
>chortle
>at the baseness of callow criticisms by those doubters and dilletantous
>denigrators of virtual one-time pads and PRNGs (perfect random
>number
>generators).

So Mr Smarty Pants, how does it feel to be the second most intelligent life
form on the planet? Your polysyllabic phrasing does not fish you from
the unfortunate and precarious position of only being in the second most
august and lofty eyrie of intellect in the upward spiral of extropian
realisation.

Ha!

As the Shadow president of the Alien Consortium that controls MENSA
through the Boy Scout Freemason Recruitment Program, I refute your
dubious and somewhat ill-considered claims to being the very paragon of
intelligence.

>Montgolfiering. What is it, you ask? It is demonstrably a new paradigm in
>the evolution of homo sapiens (Parry Messger excepted) toward
>Shannon's
>dream of a one-time pad needing only a single, easily memorizable
>number as
>a seed.  I have heard only silence when I challenged the so-called
>superbrains of this latargial list to try to determine which number I am
>using as the seed of my system. If you are such great smarty pants, far
>smarter than my colleagues at the NSA and at Mauchly-Wood, why can
>you not
>then determine this number? 

I can.

>Could it be because I have outsmarted
>you?
>Could it be because I understand the Sufi secrets of picking random
>numbers
>truly randomly? I submit this to you: 8  31  26  3  19. Now, oh great
>ones,
>tell me, what is the next number in this sequence?

11. Prove me wrong.

>
>Ha, you cannot predict this next number, can you, oh gibbering
>greatnesses?

Bullshit. I just did

>Ths proves that my perfect random number genarator (PRNG, for those
>of you
>too stupid to remember) 

PRNG.Its hard to forget such a stupid name. 

>cannot be broken. Q.E.D.
>
>I question the issue of Parry Messger's objectivity in assessing the
>brilliance of my importations and acidulous assertations. I question
>whether Parry may have a peculiarly pecuniary interest in these
>affairs?
>Does Parry have an insider, or other position, or interest in one or more
>of the RSA interest? If, this explains his fantastical faith in the core of
>this so-called "RSA" system, which I proved to my colleagues at NSA
>could
>not possibly be valid. Why, you ask? Because it contains no virtual
>seed,
>and that which has no seed cannot grow. Q.E.D.--it has been
>debunked.

No, it only looks debunked because your mind has been unhinged.

>
>Entropy, you quibble? Ha! What is entropy but thermodynamics? And
>what is
>the topic of thermodynamics, you small-minded ensemble (Gibbs)
>people who
>never worked for the NSA may ask? Thermodynamics is about hot air.
>Hot air
>is in balloons. Balloons were pioneered by the Montgolfiers. Thus we
>come
>full circle (can you understand this, you mental midgets?).  Q.E.D.--it
>has
>been demystified.

No. It has been filled with hot air in the hope that the argument will float. 

>
>Montgolfiering = a new virtual one time pad based on hot air. Eureka! I
>have found it.
>
>P Information = P * log_base_infinity P

Log_base_infinity? You can't quantify this? The name for this kind of
tricky sum is in fact, rhetoric.

>I laugh at your sanctimonious snivelings, your bombastic bombardings,
>and
>your fatuous flatulations.

I laugh about your need to be so prissy about a simple fart.

>(Montgolfiering. Q.E.D.--"it has been deflated")

heh. yeah right.

GAIAWired