From: Toto <toto@sk.sympatico.ca>
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 1997 18:55:01 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: [Humor] Dogs and Computers
In-Reply-To: <9703182242.AA18533@banshee.BASISinc.com>
Message-ID: <332F4C3C.73B@sk.sympatico.ca>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers


[20] Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

[19] Fetch command not available on all platforms.

[18] Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

[17] Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

[16] Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

[15] Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

[14] Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing
www.pethouse.com instead of working.

[13] Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

[12] Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

[11] Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies
tail-wagging.

[10] Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft
Opposable Thumb.

[09] Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

[08] 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

[07] Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition
software.

[06] SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

[05] SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the
question!

[04] Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.

[03] Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.

[02] Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat
rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

[01] TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.


                 |
            ,@ __|-.
       ,_~o/   \/  |    Through the router, off the switch,
         |/        |    down the cable, nothing but net.
        / >        |
       '  `        |                   The @Home slam dunk
                   |
 __________________|