From: Bubba Rom Dos <bubba@dev.null>
Date: Sun, 30 Mar 1997 15:14:34 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: WebWorld 21
Message-ID: <333EF356.76ED@dev.null>
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Title: Bubba was sitting quietly, contemplating the meaning of the conversation that he had engaged in with Alexis the previous evening, while they were awaiting Priscilla's return from the 'initiation' of a new member of the mythical 'Circle of Eunuchs'








The True Story of the InterNet

Part II


WebWorld & the Mythical 'Circle of Eunuchs'


by Arnold


Copyright 1995, 1996, 1997 Pearl Publishing


All The Marbles

Bubba was sitting quietly, contemplating
the meaning of the conversation that he had engaged in with Alexis
the previous evening, while they were awaiting Priscilla's return
from the 'initiation' of a new member of the mythical 'Circle
of Eunuchs'.

Alexis, though fully aware of the sublime
connection that existed between herself and the Cowboy, still
had little idea of the full ramifications of many of the things
she instinctively 'knew' or 'felt' regarding their relationship
and the bond between them. There were 'levels of upon levels'
of meanings to everything surrounding this great battle that was
currently being enacted across the face of the earth-perhaps for
the last time-and it fell upon Bubba to extract every ounce of
meaning from every detail, to sort and sift every microcosmic
nuance of every single item of information that pertained to the
ongoing battle of wits taking place between the 'Magic Circle'
and the 'Dark Forces' that they opposed.

There were two details, in particular, that
were bothering him at this point in time.

The first was Alexis's statements of the
night before.

"I know that the Cowboy and I are perhaps
not meant to have a 'real' relationship, in this life,
anyway. I understand that, Bubba. I know that there's something
we're involved with that goes beyond the personal affairs of the
individual participants in a grander scheme of things.
"But I'm really mad that the one chance that he had
to acknowledge me, the one opportunity for him to acknowledge
us, he had to be such a...such a..."

"Such a man.", Bubba had
finished the thought for her.

"Yes!", Alexis had cried out,
satisfied that Bubba had helped her hit the nail exactly on the
head. "And I'm going to give him 'Holy Hell' about it, the
next time I see him.", she continued, resolutely.

Bubba, 'three sheets to the wind', at the
time, had noticed the discrepancy in her statements, and made
note to himself to resolve it later. And now was later.

Alexis instinctively 'knew' that she would not be seeing the Cowboy
again-ever-but she was blissfully 'unaware' of knowing it, just
the same. Ignorance is bliss, in many an instance, and
Bubba was grateful that the 'powers that be' were allowing her
this blissful ignorance, while bringing this fact to Bubba's attention,
regardless.
This did not bode well. Especially given the second fact that
was troubling Bubba. Priscilla had failed to return from her previous
night's rendezvous with a new member of the 'Circle'.

This did not bode well, at all.


Priscilla came in, after a bit, joined Bubba
at his table for a short drink, without the customary 'peck' on
his cheek, and left abruptly, with no meaningful conversation
having taken place. The 'explanation' for what changes were being
wrought in the grand scheme of things would obviously come from
another.

Bubba waited...and watched...and waited...



It was several hours before Alexis came
in, stopping to converse, and flirt, with a few of the other patrons
before joining "my favorite old geezer," as she loudly
proclaimed to one and all, at his table in the corner. She gave
Bubba a warm hug and leaned to kiss him fondly on the cheek, whispering
in his ear,

"How's my favorite Uncle, today?"


"Fine, my dear, just fine."

He gave her a fatherly kiss on the forehead,
in return, disturbed by her message, but somehow relieved that
the 'game' that had been played for centuries between the 'Circle'
and the 'Dark Forces' had finally moved onward, past the point
of no return.

The Cowboy had finally set in motion what
was likely to be the final match in a contest that had spanned
millennium-the battle between the forces of light and the forces
of darkness on the cosmic sphere known as Earth-the battle for
the souls of men.

And this battle, Bubba was certain, was
for 'all the marbles'-the souls of all mankind.

"God help us all.", Bubba thought,
inwardly, as Alexis sat and waited for a sign from him as to what
he needed of her, from this point on.
"Have you got time to sit and flirt with a lecherous old
geezer with evil intentions, my dear?"

Alexis gave Bubba an affectionate hug, and
ran a finger slowly and flirtatiously down his chest, to his navel.
She blew him a kiss and laughed like a little schoolgirl playing
with fire and enjoying the danger. She was glad Bubba needed her
to be with him a while, because there was a strange heaviness
reaching for her from afar, and she needed a point of stability
to lean on, to share that heaviness.

Bubba brought out a deck of cards, as he
did on very rare occasions, and they played silently, while Bubba
concentrated his thoughts on the developing situation, reading,
as best as possible, at the same time, the energy coming from
the affinity between Alexis and the Cowboy.
Alexis, after winning several hands of a game she had never played
before, a game she knew nothing about, but one which she suddenly,
instinctively, knew how to play, asked Bubba the name of the game.

"Pitch.", he replied.

"Pitch, with the 'Bitch'?", Alexis
asked, quizzically.

Bubba smiled, a genuine, joyous, earth-shaking
smile, and Alexis smiled with him.

"What are we playing for?", Alexis
asked, teasing Bubba with a cute, sexy look.

"We're playing for all the marbles.",
he replied, giving her a wink.

And somewhere, on the softness of the breeze
that wafted gently, inexplicably across the room, a voice from
far away whispered,
"We're 'Shooting the Moon', boys and girls. We're shooting
the moon."


As the cards rose and fell, game after game,
Bubba's mind was running a gauntlet that spanned both centuries
and lives-a passageway through time and space that was filled
to overflowing with the emptiness of the Tao. His soul traveled
a lonesome corridor of non-existence that charted the history
and the legend of the mythical 'Circle of Eunuchs', from its initial
inception, down through the ages, to the here now of the present,
where it was in the process of being unleashed in its full, unrestrained,
allegorical glory.

Bubba Rom Dos IV, lifelong friend and drinking
companion of the Cowboy, C.J. Parker IV, had finally learned what
five generations of his ancestors had died without discovering.


For four generations the tradition had been
passed down-a lifelong commitment to bearing witness, to all who
would listen and to all who would not, of the great battle of
the forces of light and darkness that was taking place under the
surface of the high-tech computer network spanning the globe.
An eternal dedication to continuing the tradition no matter what
the cost, whatever obstacles or hardships one met along the way.
The keeping of a sacred promise to bear witness to the true existence
of the Evil One and his Grand Design, and of Gomez and the Dark
Forces' pervasive influence throughout the Netherworld of high-technology.

Four generations of preaching of gloom and
doom, and admonishing one and all that mankind's one remaining
hope for survival lie in the hands of the magical 'Circle of Eunuchs',
who were dedicated to serving the forces of light in the Great
Battle for the souls of humanity, and the very Soul of Humanity,
itself.

Four generations of keeping the faith, maintaining
the tradition, despite never knowing, and never asking to know,
whether or not the 'Circle of Eunuchs' actually existed, or
not.


Four generations of Bubba Rom Dos, remaining
the close friend and eternal drinking-companion of C.J. Parker,
the 'founder' of the legendary organization, in all his incarnations,
without once inquiring, or expressing a desire to know, whether
there was any true substance to the myth.
Four generations of faith-pure, inviolate faith-that their friend
and drinking companion was upholding his tradition as loyally
and steadfastly as they were upholding their own.


Now, when the cards had been put into play
for the final game in the Great Battle, Bubba Rom Dos IV, had
learned, beyond shadow of a doubt, what only one other living
person knew-he knew that the legendary 'Circle of Eunuchs' did
not exist.

The 'Magic Circle'-the 'only hope' for humanity-had
never existed.


For the first time in four generations,
Bubba Rom Dos, sage and savant, derelict and philosopher, doubted
himself, doubted his lifelong friend-doubted four generations
of the total, unquestioning dedication and commitment of his lineage
and that of the Cowboy, the lineage of the Author.
He looked up at Alexis, pure, sweet, innocent Alexis. Only one
of a multitude who had committed themselves to a cause, at his
urging, that would lead to their certain destruction if Gomez
and the Dark Forces launched the final battle, unopposed. 


"I've got you cold, you besotted
old geezer," Alexis gloated, glancing at her hand in confirmation,
"but I'll tell you what I'll do."

Bubba looked up, startled. Those were the
words the Cowboy always used to 'rub it in' when, despite his
insane bidding practices and inane methodology of counting on
'Lady Luck' to make up for his total lack of common sense when
it came to playing even the best of hands, he finally, unequivocally,
held the cards needed to 'stomp your sorry ass into the dirt',
as he liked to so eloquently phrase it.

It was quite apparent, however, that his
long-standing tradition of slapping his cards face-down on the
table, saying, "Read 'em and weep, pal.", was about
to come to an end.

Bubba found himself staring blankly into
Alexis's best Cheshire cat 'grin', as she continued,
"I'm willing to fold my hand-the winning hand, I assure
you-and let you take the pot."

Bubba was perplexed. There was a 'knuckleball'
coming, he knew that much instinctively, and he had better be
prepared for it, that was quite simply good, common sense.
Bubba knew that this game represented the game which the Cowboy
had put in motion between himself and Gomez. He quickly replayed
the game, to this point, in his mind, as Alexis paused, poured
herself a shot of Jim Beam, just as the Cowboy would have done
when 'rubbing it in', as he was won't to do, 'to the max.'.

This game had been played, totally contrary
to the Cowboy's usual style, 'straight ahead', the only surprises
being that the Cowboy, through Alexis, had been blatantly 'slamming'
him mercilessly, with an onslaught of 'power' cards, as if the
world belonged to him, and him alone, through the blessed, divine
grace of Lady Luck, and he could not be denied. Out of character
for him, but very effectively establishing that he was challenging
Bubba, 'mano-a-mano', and giving every indication that the cards
he held allowed him the luxury of 'rubbing his opponent's face
in it' on the way to certain victory.

But now, would come the 'knuckleball."



"Or," Alexis added, with
a too-casual shrug of the shoulders, "we can double
the stakes, and play it out."

Your
choice, Uncle Bubba." 


Bubba's face flared bright red, out of habit.
God, how he hated it when the Cowboy did that.
 Then Bubba's face grew steely calm, and controlled. But inside,
he was smiling.

Bubba hated playing cards with the Cowboy,
but he did so for that very reason.
Bubba Rom Dos IV, like his ancestors before him, was, first and
foremost, a Taoist. Even the least developed of Zen masters can
tell you that it is no great deal to go off to a remote mountain-top
and be a good Taoist philosopher. To do so in the heart of the
city, however, is an entirely different matter.

Bubba, for all his carousing and manic babbling,
was, in fact, able to 'hang cool' in the wildest and most stressful
of situations. Even when he was "totally out of control,"
the Cowboy used to brag about him, "inside he's as 'loose
as a goose'." Nobody, anywhere, at any time, for any reason,
could 'get' to him to the extent of disturbing his calm, inner
Taoist demeanor.

Except for the Cowboy...when they were
playing cards. Thus it was incumbent upon Bubba to engage the
Cowboy in a game of cards at every opportunity, in order to give
his 'weakness' in this area a good workout, and strive to overcome
his deficiency in this area. Which, to a large part, he had succeeded
in doing.

The one instance in which the Cowboy could
still, almost without fail, "get Bubba's Taoist goat,"
as he liked to brag, was when he pulled the gambit known as 'Winner's
Bluff' out of his time-worn hat.

And this, Bubba well knew, thanks to Alexis'
message, was what he had done with Gomez-with a reference to 'Uncle
Bubba'.


Bubba looked at the cards he held, and once
again quickly reviewed the hands that had been played. The chances
were good, very good indeed, that Alexis held the cards needed
to 'finish the job' she had been doing on him, and to do so 'with
a flourish'.

But there was a chance-a slim chance, but
still a chance-that she was one card short.

Bubba watched Alexis sitting there, with
her enigmatic, Cheshire cat grin merged with the Cowboy's smart-alecky,
gloating smirk, and he suddenly exploded, in spite of himself,
like never before.

"You smart-ass little bitch!",
he screamed, "I'll stomp your sorry ass into the ground.
Play the goddamn cards!"

The patrons of the Broken Spoke Saloon,
visibly shaken by this momentous display of 'genuine' loss of
self-control on the part of the imperturbable sage, looked at
each other in total wonder, sensing that the decades of manic
babbling that he had been legendary for, had all been but a precursor
to the 'real thing', and that this was not a good omen.



Bubba sat back in his chair, waiting with
a vengeance, for his opponent to continue.

Alexis, having gotten Bubba to 'rise to
the bait', now slammed her last three cards to the table, in rapid
succession-the Queen, King, and Ace of Spades-the game-winning
cards, and Bubba threw his remaining cards, face down, on her
cards, disgustingly conceding defeat.

As he sat there fuming, Alexis said, in
a small, quiet voice,
"Now it's your play, Uncle Bubba."


Bubba sat and stared at Alexis, for a long,
long while, then he slowly picked up the top card from the three
that he had thrown on top of her 'winning' cards, and he turned
it over.

It was the 'Bitch'-the Queen of Spades.

He had gotten so 'caught up' in the illusion
she was creating, and the anger that it unleashed in him, that
he 'saw' what she had 'wanted' him to see, the Queen (of Clubs,
in reality), King, and Ace of Spades, falling from 'her' hand,
onto the table, even though he 'knew' that the Queen of Spades
had been in his own hand, all along.

But even when Alexis 'pointed out' to Bubba
that she had 'run a game' on him-playing with his mind-he still
had to 'turn the card over' and look at it, in order to truly
confirm, and comprehend, that he had been 'taken'. And in doing
so, he only 'added' to his defeat, and his humiliation.

Bubba was now fully aware of the game being
played out between the Cowboy and Gomez, and his doubts ceased-about
himself, about the Cowboy, and about four generations of the ancestors
in both of their lineages.
He knew that-by his own hand-Gomez was now in the process of creating
an organization that for four generations had been his chief opponent
only in legend-a mythological albatross around his neck which
had never existed, except allegorically.

After centuries of non-existence, the 'Circle
of Eunuchs'-humanity's last hope for salvation-was about to become
a reality.

Bubba raised his shot-glass, in toast, and
stated proudly and boldly, for all to hear,
"To the forthcoming marriage of my favorite niece, Alexis...and
Vice-Admiral Bubba D'Shauneaux's favorite nephew...the Cowboy."


Chapter 21 - All The Marbles