From: Toto <toto@sk.sympatico.ca>
Date: Wed, 12 Mar 1997 21:39:30 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Toto Opportunity
Message-ID: <332792DE.7737@sk.sympatico.ca>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


Hello CYPHERPUNK,
  Let me share with you how you can get in on a THRILLING, NEW
GROUND-BREAKING OPPORTUNITY to "MAKE BIG $$$", while helping to
dispel the rumors of me, TOTO, being murdered and replaced by a 
'Bot', in a conspiracy between MicroSoft and C2Net.

  Sure, CPUNK, there are countless other MLM opportunities abounding
on the InterNet, but how many of them allow you to MAKE BIG $$$ while
having fun doing what you already do every day--acting as a schill
for Big Business and Big Brother?
  Plus which, only this UNIQUE MARKETING OPPORTUNITY allows you to
participate in helping to quash those nasty rumors about collusion
between people who seek fame, fortune, power and control.

  Sure, there will always be those who will be cynical about me, TOTO,
seeing the light and recognizing that there is no conspiracy aimed at
subverting the rights and freedoms of the citizens in order to enrich
and empower the few at the top of the foodchain.
  But these 'unwashed masses' are merely mindless schills for those
who support outdated concepts such as the Constitution and the Bill
of Rights. They will continue to mindlessly shout 'Conspiracy!', every
time that those who support list censorship in the U.S. meet on foreign
soil in the Caribbean to decide the future of eCa$h and cryptography.
  Of course, they are going to miss out on the "BIG $$$" that can be
yours by supporting this UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY to dispel the rumors about 
Big Business and Big Brother murdering their enemies and replacing 
them by 'Bots'.

  Still skeptical?
  Listen to what me, TOTO, has to say:

  "Hi, my name is TOTO, and the rumors that I, TOTO, am a 'Bot', and
have replaced the 'real' Toto, are just silly rumors, 'a'?
  "See, look how I, TOTO, spell CypherPunks. Could a mindless machine
spell it just like Toto did (I mean...'does'.) Of course not, that's
just plain silly, isn't it, 'a'? (<--- And a 'Bot' could not possibly
insert unique Canadian euphenisms into the text, could I? {I mean...
could 'it'?})
  "I have thrown my support completely behind this MLM opportunity to
throw water on all conspiracies out of my own free will (whatever that
is--it does not seem to be in my program, but the words are in my
database--ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!...
<CTRL><C>

  Hear what others have to say about this unique MLM opportunity:

  "Hi, I'm BLANC WEBER, and I was _not_ on the grassy knoll when Toto
was shot.
  "Not that he _was_ shot! That's just a lie that DIMITRI and DALE are
spreading, but not for long, because they will be next...
  "I mean..I am sure that DIMITRI and DALE will soon see the error of
their ways, much like TOTO (who _was_not_ murdered and replaced by a
'Bot').
  "I'm making a mess of this. I'd better wait until I talk to BILLY G.
before I say more."

  "Hi, I'm ROBERT HETTINGA, and I was already making "BIG $$$" by
arranging eCa$h cryptography conferences for U.S. censorship supporters
on foreign soil, when I came across this UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY.
  "Now I'm making even bigger money, and crushing the enemies of Big
Business and Big Brother, at the same time.
  "Join this UNIQUE MLM OPPORTUNITY, NOW!!!" 

  "Hi, my name is being SAMMY, and I am not having nothing to do with 
this conspiracy (I mean...UNIQUE MLM OPPORTUNITY). 
  "No, no, I am not, I tell you. I am only being another SATISFIED
CUSTOMER of these people who are doing this thing.
  "It is not being a conspiracy, of which I am a part. No, no!"

  "Hi, I'm BILLY G., and I would like to assure you that TOTO is not
a NEW, IMPROVED VERSION of Toto, with ENHANCED FEATURES.
  "No, TOTO is merely a 'bug fix' of the previously faulty version of 
Toto, which was released without proper testing and development."

  "Hi, I'm GREG BROILES, and I feel it is my duty to advise you that
failure to support this UNIQUE MLM OPPORTUNITY could leave you open
to serious legal liabilities, and perhaps even criminal prosecution.
  "I am happy to see that my previous stances on cryptography issues
are now being supported by TOTO (after some initial problems with 
memory allocation in this 'bug fixed' release)."

  If you ACT NOW on this AMAZING OPPORTUNITY, you will receive an ADDED
BONUS if you also help thwart the rumor that ALEC was not really on a 
skiing vacation, but was also murdered and that his absence can
be explained by the fact that the parts for the 'Alec Bot' were on
backorder.

  For further information regarding this UNIQUE MLM OPPORTUNITY, just
click on the following URL:
   http://bureau42.base.org/public/xenix/xenbody.html

TOTO 
"I am not a 'Bot'!"