From: TOTO <toto@sk.sympatico.ca>
Date: Sun, 9 Mar 1997 00:08:35 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: MicroSoft Schill Blanc Weber EXPOSED!!!
In-Reply-To: <199703080803.IAA00271@server.test.net>
Message-ID: <33226FE1.3A50@sk.sympatico.ca>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


Adam Back wrote:
>
> Blanc Weber <blancw@microsoft.com> writes:
> > Yikes - don't know how this happened, but it was I sent this email, not
> > Uni, who is also not @sirius.infonex.com.

> I suspect it's something to do with this (Microsoft mailers were the
> bane of many mailing lists a while back):

> > X-Mailer:  Microsoft Exchange Server Internet Mail Connector Version 4.0.994.63

> No offense, but Microsoft software is not my idea of quality -- it
> seems Gates takes the attitude that he's got the market in a
> strangle-hold so he can sell any crap and get away with it.

  Yes, but he's right.

> I saw TV interview with him in which he claimed that "no one _ever_
> upgraded to a new version of his software to get a bug fix" -- instead
> he claimed they upgraded to get "new features".  He appeared serious.

  There are reports that his physicians have desperately pleaded
with him to seek treatment for these delusions but he fears that
if he does so, he may suffer reprecussions from facing reality.

> The microsoft attitude to standards is annoying also -- what do they care
> about rfc822?  "The good thing about microsoft is that we set the standards,
> and we can change them when we want to".  quote from a microsoft
> representative at a standards meeting.

  IBM had the same attitude for years, and were quite arrogant
about it when they announced the computer of our future, the PS/2.

  "Napoleon was Emperor,
  "But still, he met his Waterloo.
  "IBM was King, but still,
  "No one bought their PS/2."

  "Now, stepping up to the plate...
  "A 'heavy hitter', named Billy Gates.
  "Who just can't hit the 'long ball', hence,
  "He has the umpires move the fence."

  "Billy G. is not a fool,
  "He's handsome, witty, smart, and rich.
  "His products may be weak, so what?
  "He owns the team, he gets to pitch."

  "Besides, someone, somewhere, sometime,
  "Will learn to make his products work.
  "While cussing out the big MS,
  "And calling Billy G. a jerk."

  "Then Billy G. will buy them out,
  "(Or steal a 'base', some would say)
  "One way or the other, though,
  "Billy G. will get his way."

  "MS does offer some support,
  "(Even though they have to bill you).
  "Then say, 'We could tell you how it works.
  "'But then, of course, we'd have to kill you.'"

  "So here I sit, broken hearted...
  "Bought Win95, the nightmare started.
  "Those who write on shithouse walls...
  "Know MS has them by the balls."

  "For a good time, call..."

    [ MODERATOR'S NOTE: ]

  The obvious degeneration of this slanderous poem into a babbling
morass of shithouse wit comes as no surprise to those who righteously
supported the attempt to protect the cypherpunks list from exactly this
type of off-topic trash.
  I am certain that the other troublemakers on the list will be
spreading rumors and lies concerning Toto's sudden disappearance,
which I am sure will be noticed shortly.

  To set the record straight concerning the rumors that are bound
to be surfacing, let me state that it is a known fact that the
lunatic asylums in Saskatchewan often use vehicles bearing Washington
State license plates.
  The witnesses who claim that the white-suited asylum employees had
MicroSoft emblems on their uniforms were obviously confused by the
similarities to the 'MindSoft' emblem of the Sanitarium (which was
legally formed shortly after Toto's soon-to-be discovered mysterious
disappearance).

  Rumors that Toto was subsequently murdered because he had actually
gotten Win95 to work, and thus 'knew too much', are obviously tripe,
since it is a well-known fact that nobody can get it to work properly.
  The lies that will be attempting to connect Toto's disappearance
to tonight's MicroSoft/C2Net party are also false, since it has been
in the planning for months. It's just that we (I mean...'they') forgot
to send out the invitations earlier, so it only appears to be a hastily
organized event.

  As to the hogwash spouted by Dale Thorn, and others, concerning some
purported behind-the-scenes moderation/censorship of the cypherpunks
list--this is patent nonsense.
  This 'Moderator's Note' that you are reading now is an obvious
forgery--part of some sick, demented plan to continue to cast slander
and libel upon MicroSoft and C2Net. It is a mere continuation of the
shallow attempts of slimeballs and perverts to cast aspersions on
saints like Bill Gates, John Gilmore, Sandy Sandfort, Greg Broiles,
and my employer, Sammy, who only want what is best for everyone.

[END OF 'ALLEGED' MODERATOR'S NOTE]

  "For a good time call...Toto"
  http://bureau42.base.org/public/xenix/xenbody.html