From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Date: Thu, 17 Jul 1997 21:36:51 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: EuroEnglish
Message-ID: <199707171315.PAA03965@basement.replay.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain




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ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE EUROPEAN UNION COMMISSIONERS

An agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred
language for European communications, rather than German, which was the
other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has 
accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
(Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of "c".  Sertainly sivil
servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers 
and typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f".  This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be 
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.  Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, 
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre 
that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgracful, and 
they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining 
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of 
leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer 
vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to 
understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU.

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