From: bennett_t1@popmail.firn.edu
Date: Mon, 7 Jul 1997 10:52:37 +0800
To: Drifter0@aol.com
Subject: Re: can i join
In-Reply-To: <970706155513_847343667@emout10.mail.aol.com>
Message-ID: <33C0645F.C0C2ED32@popmail.firn.edu>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



Drifter0@aol.com wrote:

> thanx

   ...  Oh, Jesus, another stupid AOLer.  Well, let me go through the
proper procedures.

Time for the flame-form.
-----------------------------
Dear:
  [X] Clueless Newbie        [X] Lamer         [  ] Flamer
  [  ] "Me too" er            [  ] Pervert       [X] Geek
  [  ] Spammer                [  ] Racist        [  ] Fed
  [X] Stereotypical AOLer    [  ] Freak         [  ] Troller
  [  ] Fundamentalist         [  ] Satanist      [  ] Scientologist

 You Are Being Flamed Because:
  [  ] You posted what should have been emailed
  [  ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
  [  ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
  [  ] You self-rightously impose your religious beliefs on others
  [  ] You posted something asking for warez sites
  [  ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
  [  ] You started a long, stupid thread
  [  ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
  [  ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
  [  ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
  [  ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test

  [  ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
  [X] You posted low-IQ flamebait
  [  ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
  [  ] You posted a listserver command
  [  ] You followed up to a blatently obvious troll
  [  ] You posted pretending to be someone famous
  [  ] You said "me too" to something
  [  ] You make no sense
  [  ] Your sig/alias/server is dreadful
  [  ] You posted a phone-sex ad
  [  ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
  [  ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
  [  ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable
  [  ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs to look K3WL
  [  ] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
  [X] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
       worthless that you are being flamed anyway

 To Repent, You Must:

  [  ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what
you're        doing
  [X] Stop masturbating for a week
  [X] Be Senator Exon's love slave
  [  ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
  [X] Give up your AOL account
  [X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
  [  ] Tell your Mommy to up your medication
  [X] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
  [  ] Actually post something relevant
  [X] Make a homepage shrine for the goddess Hello Kitty
  [X] Read the FAQ
  [  ] Post to alt.test
  [  ] Print your home phone number in your ads
  [X] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month


 In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

  [X] Get a clue
  [X] Get a life
  [X] Go away
  [  ] Age 10 more years before you post again
  [X] Never post again
  [X] I pity your dog
  [  ] You need to seek psychiatric help
  [  ] Morons like you give ammo to pro-censorship geeks
  [X] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc...
  [X] Take your gibberish somewhere else
  [X] Learn how to post or get off the usenet and listserv
  [  ] All of the above