From: nobody@replay.com (Name Withheld by Request)
Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 04:14:08 +0800
To: cypherpunks@cyberpass.net
Subject: Re: EuroEnglish
Message-ID: <199707172005.WAA14170@basement.replay.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



Viz speling lik zis, ho neds kriptografy?

> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE EUROPEAN UNION COMMISSIONERS
> 
> An agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred
> language for European communications, rather than German, which was the
> other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has 
> accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
> (Euro for short).
> 
> In the first year, "s" will be used instead of "c".  Sertainly sivil
> servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be
> replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers 
> and typewriters kan have one less letter.
> 
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f".  This will make words like
> "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
> 
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be 
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.  Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, 
> which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre 
> that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgracful, and 
> they would go.
> 
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 
> "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
> 
> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining 
> "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of 
> leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer 
> vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to 
> understand ech ozer.
> 
> ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU.
> 
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> 
>