From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Date: Sat, 23 Aug 1997 05:38:21 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: No Subject
Message-ID: <199708222114.XAA25018@basement.replay.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



At 06:30 PM 8/22/97 +0200, A druken remailer user wrote:
>  To continue...
>  Being an anonymous coward who hides behind remailers the few times

Did Patrick Oonk send this one?

>  Tired of being an anarchist? Tired of waiting for Jim Bell
>to rat you out as being a co-conspirator in his evil plot
>to overthrow the government? Tired of standing in front of your
>mirror, trying to practice acting surprised when armed forces
>from a dozen government agencies kick down your door to announce
>that someone nuked D.C., and they'd like to "ask you a few
>questions?"

If someone nuked D.C., most of those bastards would probably be dead.

Then again... they propably have em stuffed in capsules, to be opened
when communication is lost with Washington D.C.  Millions of theses
bastards!!!!  All located on the surface of Uranus.  Upon losing the
signal with D.C., they'll fly to Earth, to once again enslave the
free.  What's the solution???!!!???  We must send all our nuclear
arsenals to the surface of Uranus, and set them off, ONLY THEN WILL WE
BE SAFE!!!

>Peter Trei:
>  "Hi. I used to be a boring guy. I was so boring that none of the 
>assholes on the list even bothered insulting me, or forging posts in
>my name.
>  "Then one day, my life suddenly changed. Someone forged a post to 
>the list in my name, and it was exciting. It was like getting robbed
>at gunpoint. What a rush!

Heheheh

>Kent Crispin:
>  "This isn't Peter's conspiracy, its MINE! I mean, get real, I
>work in a secret underground lavoratory as a government shill.
>  "Think about it. Who would you expect to conspire against a
>bunch of anarchists...the government! You all know how much I
>love the government and authority. I'm Louis Freeh's secret
>lover. Janet Reno is going to have my baby.
>  "It's me! *I* am the one behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST
>THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. I'm a STATIST, for God's sake, why won't
>you believe me? 
>  "Because I'm not one of the elitist 'chosen?' Fuck you."

Heheh, well, at least they got Kent summed up in 3 paragraphs.

>TruthMonger:
>  "Now Hettinga is stealing Tim May's lines. What the hell is 
>going on, here? Has *everybody* on this list gone crazy?
>  "*I* am the one who is *really* behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY 
>AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. Think about it. Everyone knows
>that I'm a 33rd degree Mason.  No...that's Tim May.
>  "Fuck this shit. From now on, I'm posting as Toto."

heheh

>	There is no conspiracy by a secret government to destroy
>	the Constitution, enslave the people, and rule the world.

"Like them new Stealth Helicopters, equipped with devices to drown out
the sound."

"Dale, where the hell did you hear that!?"

"Alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters"

>	Remember, this is just a normal mailing list with a few list
>	members who are a little odd. There are no spooks.

Except for Kent Crispin.

>	Waco was just a tragic accident. Ruby Ridge was a simple error
>	in judgement by a government agent who really feels bad about
>	following his superiors orders. Heavily armed U.S. Marines are
>	no match for a goat-herding boy with a .22, and it is only by
>	the grace of God that they are alive today. Oswald acted alone.

Yeah, no one's safe when those god-damn goat herding sniper kids,
lucky those good soldiers hit him fast!

There is, however, a secret-conspiracy by Paul Pomes to shut down
remailers.

ConspiracyMonger
"Ahhh, look, another mutilated cow."

"Musta been them aliens."

"Nah, it's them damn black helicopters.  Killin' all my friggin
livestock."