From: Bubba Rom Dos <bubba@dev.null>
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 1997 21:36:08 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: InfoWar 21 / The GeigerBurg Text
Message-ID: <342A5B96.4FC@dev.null>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



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                       The True Story of the InterNet
                                  Part III

                                   InfoWar

                  Final Frontier of the Digital Revolution

                     Behind the ElectroMagnetic Curtain

                        by TruthMonger <tm@dev.null>

Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing
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                          InfoWar Table of Contents

   * Lying Fucking Nazi Cunt Sex Criminal

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                    Lying Fucking Nazi Cunt Sex Criminal
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"This has got to stop!" the crimson-faced man threw the printout on the desk
of the Sex Criminal.

The Sex Criminal, as usual, just laughed and tried to make light of the
situation.
"Well, at least Lying Fuck is better than Lying Nazi Cunt." the Sex Criminal
winced as the woman Senator walked into the room just as the words were
coming out of his mouth.

The Nazi Cunt shot the Sex Criminal a stare that took the heat out of even
his easily excitable loins. The post she had in her hand was even more to
the point than the one that the Lying Fuck had thrown on the Sex Criminal's
desk.
She handed it to the Lying Fuck with a chagrined grin, saying, "Why don't
you read it first, Mr. Freeh-dumb!"

The Sex Criminal began to chuckle, but stopped quickly when the FBI Director
shot him a stare that was colder than even the Nazi Cunt's withering look.
The Lying Fuck then turned his attention to the email that the Nazi Cunt had
received, along with a few hundred other Senators and Congressmen shortly
before the vote on the ultra-fascist Oxley Amendment to the dictatorial SAFE
bill being pushed in the House Commerce Committee.

To: senator@feinstein.senate.gov
From: HugeCajones Remailer<hc@dev.null>
X-Mailer: WinSock Remailer Version ALPHA1.3B
X-Comments: -
X-Comments: "He who shits on the road, will meet flies upon his return."
X-Comments: -
X-Comments: "GOMEZ IS COMING!"
X-Comments: -
X-Comments: This message is NOT from TruthMonster.
X-Comments: It was sent by an automated anonymous asshole under the
X-Comments: auspices of the Electronic Forgery Foundation.
X-Comments: -
X-Comments: Note: Send any complaints about abuse of this remailer
X-Comments: to the person most concerned about your rights and
X-Comments: freedoms. (Hint: It's a "mirror" site.)

Subject: !!! DEATH THREAT !!!

You should be careful before you do foolish things like making a death
threat because it can have really bad results.
...
People like the Constitution a lot and if you are making a death threat
against it then it is like saying your going to kill someone else's
friend or family and everyone knows that they will kill you because
they are domestic and not a stranger. Or is it that they are stranger
and not domesticated?
Never mind. You know what I mean.

"Damn!" the Lying Fuck swore with a vengeance, "It's the fucking nephew,
again."

He began to pace the floor, angry that he had been boxed into a corner where
taking strong action in response to this post would involve sending a swat
team into an allied foreign country to arrest a fourteen year-old kid. A
cute kid, nonetheless. A cute Christian kid.
He shook his head slowly, as if in pain, as he continued to read the kid's
continuing diatribe against encryption opponents.

Especially if you try to make it so that they cannot put aluminum foil
hats on their thoughts and their words and their writing. Then they
get really, really, nervous and maybe start thinking that they have to
kill everybody because they are not safe from anybody.

You should be careful before you vote to kill the Constitution and look
under all your chairs and stuff, just in case.

The Sex Criminal was reading the same passage, and he looked up at the FBI
Director, asking, "Isn't that a threat? Can't we do something about that?"
He looked to the Nazi Cunt for support...

"Jesus, Bill!" the Nazi Cunt said, rolling her eyes upward.
"You want to send the fucking Marines up to bring back a Canadian teenager
in leg-irons so that he can remind our citizens that we have a constitution?
Give it a break."

Freeh continued to read the email.

Even if you do think you can kill the Constitution and still have all of
the people believe you are not a bad person then you should at least
try not to let really stupid people who you work with say things like
"I am too stupid to learn about this stuff so I am going to let the guys
who want to make aluminum foil hats illegal and put everyone in jail
decide how I vote to kill the Constitution."
The one those guys who always say "Nuke DC" call Swinestein said
that and it made everyone think you are all that stupid and going to
let people with guns who kill women and children make your votes
for you. Then even more of them say "Nuke DC" especially when they
remember how bad the guys with the guns that you are letting vote for
you fucked their friend (sorry but thats what they did) for making a
stink with the IRS.

The Lying Fuck couldn't help himself-he burst out laughing, with the Sex
Criminal following close behind. He caught her frigid stare and said, "You
said it, not me..."
"...Swinestein." he half-mumbled under his breath.

"I heard that, you bastard!" the Nazi Cunt screamed, turning and stomping
out of the room in a great huff.

If you take away some of the guns from people then you have to take
away all the guns or you are in big trouble. If you take away some of
the Constitution from people then you have to take away all of the
Constitution or you are in big trouble.
Even if you think you took away all of the things that people can use
to be safe and free then they will make more-like Doritos.

If you try to kill them with bullshit then they will try to kill you
with their own brand of fertilizer. If you take away their aluminum
foil hats then they will make hats out of paper and call them
Forever Young.

The FBI Director recognized the veiled reference to the Eternity Servers. He
made a mental note to himself to begin action against them as soon as
possible. He could make it a side-project of the agents working against the
anonymous remailer operators.
That reminded him...hadn't they already killed off the Huge Cajones Remailer?
He needed to check that out, ASAP.

Killing the Constitution is a lot like killing DC-if your going to do
it then you might as well do it right and do it all at once.
Guys with guns who want to kill Freeh-dumb know that and so do
guys with nukes who are Freeh-dumb fighters. (My uncle made up a
new word about him-he said he "testiLied to Congress.")

"Cocksucker!" the Lying Fuck banged his fist on the Sex Criminal's desk.
"This fucker is dead!" he screamed, beginning to lose control, and throwing
the email on the floor, stomping on it with one foot, and then the other.

The Sex Criminal continued to read the end of the post.

Don't be a stranger,
APlayerToBeNamedLater
p.s. - If you see Declan McCullagh getting in his car and driving like
hell away from the city then you should get in your car and do the
same thing. You dont need to pack a suitcase because I think if he
does that then there is already one packed.
(Thats what the guys with guns told you in your secret meetings so
you will kill the Constitution for them isnt it?)

The Sex Criminal looked puzzled.
"How do these people get this information?" he naively asked his head
bonecrusher.

The Lying Fuck was getting tired of explaining the obvious to this fucking
idiot, but he took relief in the fact that now the Line Item Veto had been
passed, they could dump these liberal shills off at the next election stop
and bring in an Aryan thoroughbred to make the Run for the Roses at the turn
of the millennium.

"We know we're going to do it. They know we're going to do it. The nuclear
suitcase argument was Oxley's hole card, but this fucking email took the
steam out of his argument by ridiculing it before it was even presented."

"Fucking cypherpunks!" the Lying Fuck spit the word out, as the Sex Criminal
handed him a printout of a news article that would be appearing in print the
following day.

Encryption Bill Gets Approval Of House Panel
By CHRIS DiEDOARDO San Diego Daily Transcript, Sept. 24, 1997
...
The 40-11 vote late Wednesday in the House Commerce Committee could sound
the death knell to FBI Director Louis J. Freeh's attempt to require software
companies to install a "back door" in their security packages in order make
them more accessible to law enforcement officials.
...
"In closed session, the FBI said they don't have a problem with encryption
in foreign markets, as they have the ability to use the military to decrypt
the messages," Bilbray said, adding the agency didn't have that capability
domestically.

"God damn it!" the bonecrusher's temperature was rising, once again. "What
the fuck good is a 'closed session' when everything we tell these dweebs
gets printed before we get out of the goddamn building.
"The press breaks the stories about our spreading bad replacement parts into
foreign weapons systems, and the next thing you know, we have planes falling
out of the fucking sky faster than we can count. Now we have to try to keep
other countries in line with our weak encryption policy at the same time
we're confirming that we can read their fucking minds and want to keep it
that way."
He shook his head in disgust, and continued reading the article.

Early reaction from within the encryption industry was mixed. While John
Kelsey of Counterpane Systems in Jefferson City, Mo., thought the
Markey-White package was better than the alternatives, he said there was
still a long way to go.

"The best thing they could do is get rid of the export controls and
otherwise not interfere by trying to regulate this technology," he said.
"The FBI should be pushing for all Americans to use strong crypto, as
cryptology makes crime harder."
"When you encrypt credit-card numbers, that makes it a lot harder to commit
credit card fraud," Kelsey said. "In fact, properly designed payment
protocols make it very difficult for people to steal money from the system
or frame other people."
"What happens is the law-abiding citizens are constantly being encroached on
for the convenience of us in government."

"Intuitively, it seems like a bad idea to build a large infrastructure for
eavesdropping on the American people," he said. "That's not a decision
people should make without spending a lot of time thinking about whether
we're comfortable doing that, as we'd be building the infrastructure for a
police state."

"Fucking cypherpunks!" the Lying Fuck said again, recognizing Kelsey's name.

"Fucking cypherpunks!" the Sex Criminal echoed.

The FBI Director sat silently steaming, making quick and hard decisions as
to how to proceed with his agenda of total information control.
Time to start hitting the hardware vendors hard, again, shaking the trees
for those who would be the quickest to fold to the NSA's plans for hardwired
monitoring and back doors into all aspects of computer systems, including
encryption.

He took his pen and circled the name 'Intel' on his game plan cheat-sheet.

"Hit them hard and hit them everywhere." he said to himself.

It was long past time to bother with the pretension of friendly discussion.
He had gone past the point of no return with the announcement of his
intention to gain law enforcement access to all aspects of corporate and
private communications, the Constitution be damned, and he was not about to
turn back now. Not on your life...

Copyright "TruthMangler <president@whitehouse.gov>"
"I stuck my head between her cheeks, but I didn't inhale." ~ Marv Alpert
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                        "The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre"

                 "WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs"

           "InfoWar (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')

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