From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 1997 08:27:07 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Installation Procedures
Message-ID: <199709250010.CAA20103@basement.replay.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



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INSTALLING THE SOFTWARE:

Introduction

Thank you for purchasing InCom's PowerComp Libraries.  At InCom,
customer satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that you 
will be pleased with the power of our libraries.  Please follow all of 
the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.

Getting Started

In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be 
enclosed in angle brackets, <like this>.  Commands which you will have 
to enter will be indented,
        like this.

You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the 
material from tape (/tmp/pcl is recommended), and a permanent 
installation  directory (/usr/local/pcl is recommended).


Loading From Tape

First create and change directory to the loading directory:
        mkdir <working directory>
        cd <working directory>

Now you are ready to load the software from tape.

The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware
vendors, and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".

Load the software from tape:
        tar xvf /dev/<device name>

You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to 
compile and install the PowerComp libraries.


Compiling and Installing the PowerComp Libraries

Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly 
shell script.  You will need to provide some information to the script, 
such as your organization name and registration number.  To run the 
script, type
        /bin/sh pcl/pcl.install -d <installation directory>

Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it 
prompts for.

When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution 
files are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with 
any directory which the script will deem satisfactory.  That is because 
it is necessary to order the following additional parts which are 
necessary to continue with the installation:

        Part Number     Qty     Name                            Price

        GM-96-3026      1       Goat, male                       1000.00

        CB-13-2395      1       Candle, black                      50.00

        CG-63-6376      1       Chalk dust container               10.00

        IB-89-3335      5       Incense sticks                      5.00

        DE-44-8846      1       Dagger, ebon, curved              500.00

        AS-87-2319      1       Altar, silver                   10000.00

Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue 
the installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.

Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation

Stand in front of the computer.  Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks.  Set an incense
stick at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, 
and the candle in front of the altar.

Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low
voice:
        Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
        Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
        Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft

        I am coming here to appease you
        I offer you this goat
        That my software may work

        I bind you here
        Do not make my system crash
        Let the software install as advertised

Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.

        May this goat feed you
        Sate your lust for blood
        Into it may your mischief fly
        Not my computer
        Make the software work
        For this is the only way

Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots.  This will complete
different circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and 
cards to function in ways that the engineers never intended, thereby 
making your system compatible with our libraries.

Reboot your computer.  The installation is now complete.

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Systems Guides                                      bstaud@sysgu.com 
Bill Staudenheimer                                 Vox: 415-917-8170
PO Box 4130                                        Fax: 415-917-8172
Mountain View, CA 94040-0130                    http://www.sysgu.com



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