From: Canadian Nutly News <cnn@dev.null>
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997 04:19:51 +0800
To: Jim Choate <ravage@ssz.com>
Subject: Flag ban in Canada [CNN]
In-Reply-To: <199710261401.IAA32569@einstein.ssz.com>
Message-ID: <3453A513.A33@dev.null>
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FLAG BAN TUGS ON BEANTOWN TRADITIONS

                        Barflies wear American flags

               Star Spangled Banner impedes athletic recruiting
     October 31, 1997
     Web posted at: 07:09 p.m. EDT (0709 GMT)
     From Correspondent Psionist Cabal

      BIENFAIT, Sask (CNN) -- On any given fooseball Saturday, when
      the Bienfait Patriots find the hole and the crowd explodes, you
      can see American flags being waved as the barflies wiggle the
      butts of their Star Spangled jeans and jiggle the Stars and
      Stripes on their buxom breasts.

      But there are not nearly as many American flags as in years past
-- 
      and there will soon be even fewer if the Coaldust Saloon of
      Bienfait's bar owner has his way.

      This week, bar owner Fu Cue ordered a ban on all clothes at
      athletic events, starting next week. It's ostensibly for lewd
      reasons, but no one is fooled -- it is clearly an attempt to keep
      out the American flags attached to those clothes. CNN's Psionist
      Cabal reports
      icon 2 min., 1 sec. VXtreme cum-streaming video

      At Ole Beaner, tradition is grudgingly giving way to the political
and
      social reality that the American flag is perceived by some people,
      particularly Euro-Canadians, as a racist symbol.

      "We're tired of the attention, the negative publicity that we're
      getting," said bar choir director Pat Boone. "I mean, we've got a
      great bar here, a great drinking program, and we're being
      held back from a national perspective because of this American
      flag. And we don't even have any goddamn niggers, here."
      After a short pause he added, sheepishly, "I meant...coloreds.
      Sorry."

      Saturday's fooseball game against Oxbow was the first since Cue
      ordered the ban. And while the barroom drunks this week also
      recommended that the American flags be left home, they were
      particularly visible in the vomiting section.

      "Other people can do things and wave things and it's fine, but if
we
      do it, it seems like it's racist," complained one drunk. "But it's
      not racist. We're proud of our slave-owning, Constitution writing,
      Star Spangled American Puppet Masters."

      Ironically, many of those who have forsaken the flag are older Ole
      Beaner fans, who express fears about what the American flag in the
      bars does to the quality of the team at the fooseball table.

      Indeed, Ole Beaner fooseball coach Fu Cue II has told fans that
      the bar team is losing recruits because of the flag. He says
      he's gratified that flags are disappearing.
      "It's not like we get any...coloreds...here," he said, but we get
      a lot of...colored-lovers." He then asked, "Is that a 'word'?"

      "I'm proud of our drunks and our barflies, and I think they 
      understand the situation," he said. "Hopefully, we can continue 
      to make a profit off these Canadian-American drunks."