From: Deja Vu <dv@dev.null>
Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 05:47:49 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: InfoWar 33 / The GeigerBurg Text
Message-ID: <3436B414.4EBA@dev.null>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



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                       The True Story of the InterNet
                                  Part III

                                   InfoWar

                  Final Frontier of the Digital Revolution

                     Behind the ElectroMagnetic Curtain

                        by TruthMonger <tm@dev.null>

Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing
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                          InfoWar Table of Contents

   * Anarchist Post of the Century
   * Anarchist Post of the...(Ouch!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                        Anarchist Post of the Century
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Crypto-continuation in Washington: FBI/DoJ keep up the pressure
From: Declan McCullagh <declan@well.com>
To: fight-censorship@vorlon.mit.edu, cypherpunks@toad.com

Crypto is hot in Washington. Don't think the battle's over; it's just
beginning:

   * This afternoon when the Senate Intelligence committee met to consider a
     new CIA deputy director, Sen. Bob Kerrey said "there's a real urgency"
     to
     get an encryption bill passed. (Presumably, that would be his bill, the
     "Key Escrow Infrastructure" McCain-Kerrey/S.909.) Anyone still think
     that
     the Senate will do the right thing on crypto? Think again...
   * * Last week Janet Reno talked at her weekly press conference about
     balancing law enforcement rights with privacy rights -- through
     mandatory
     domestic key escrow.
   * * Yesterday Louis Freeh spoke at length before the House International
     Relations committee about the spread of nuclear weapons... and reminded
     committee members about the problems the FBI has with nonescrowed
     crypto...
   * * Sen. Jon "Mandatory Domestic Key Escrow" Kyl said on Sunday that the
     Clinton administration's export controls on crypto were *not tight
     enough*...

More info:
http://cgi.pathfinder.com/netly/opinion/0,1042,1385,00.html
http://www.jya.com/declan8.htm

-Declan

****************

HEARING OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE
NOMINATION OF LT.-GEN. JOHN A. GORDON
TO BE DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
CHAIRMAN: SENATOR RICHARD SHELBY (R-AL)
106 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC
2:00 P.M. EDT
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1997

SEN. KERREY: I hope no doubt that you've heard of and perhaps had the
opportunity to read the recommendations made by Senators Helms and
Moynihan, but I think they're excellent. It's an excellent examination of,
first, the need in some instances to classify, as well as the need to
examine that classification system.
It's not really a question, General Gordon. I think it's
imperative that, on the issue of encryption, that the president exert some
authority and try to pull together the congressional leaders and say, "We
need a secure public network." There's counter-intelligence concerns.
There's national security issues here at stake, obviously, balanced against
the concerns for civil liberties and the concern for commercial interests
and the need to develop.
But there's lots of action up here on the Hill, both in the House
and the Senate, in half a dozen committees or eight or nine committees, or
Lord knows how many altogether, more than I realized existed. And I think
there's a real urgency to get something passed both for the private sector,
so they can have some stability, but also on the public-sector side, so we
can protect the nation's interests.
MR. GORDON: Senator, I have not delved that deeply into the
encryption issue. I certainly take your point on this point. But I do
know that if the Senate does confirm me that that will be squarely on my
plate.

****************

ATTORNEY GENERAL JANET RENO'S WEEKLY MEDIA AVAILABILITY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, DC
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1997

Q No, wait -
ATTY GEN. RENO: You've got to be quicker than that.
Q (Inaudible) - yes, ma'am. Director Freeh and Director
Constantine both have complained that U.S.-made encryption devices are
giving the drug cartels an advantage whereby interdiction becomes impaired.
Would you favor, as Mr. Freeh does, some kind of giving of the keys to
these devices to the FBI and DEA?
ATTY GEN. RENO: I don't think that Director Freeh favors giving
keys to the FBI and to the DEA.
Q No?
ATTY GEN. RENO: What Director Freeh has talked about is what we
have today - if someone is going to tap a phone, they don't just go in and
tap the phone, if they're going to do it legally. What law enforcement
does is it develops probable cause to believe that the telephone is being
used to commit a crime and that to overhear would provide evidence of a
crime. That is submitted to a judge, both in federal court and in many
states courts where wiretapping is authorized. The judge reviews the
sufficiency of the affidavits in support of the petition and enters an
order directing the telephone company to provide that opportunity.
What Director Freeh is hoping to achieve is the same thing with
respect to encrypted products; so that the court would direct that the key
be provided to the telecommunications system, or the other system, in order
to decrypt the encoded message.
What we're trying - what the administration is trying to do is to
recognize that there are two important interests at stake here. One is the
law enforcement interest, which is so vital with respect to terrorists,
with respect to being able to decrypt the drug dealer's computer when I - I
can get a search warrant now and seize his black book and I can read his
black book or decipher what he's talking about. But if he can encrypt the
information on his computer, that will be a significant obstacle to law
enforcement.
At the same time, the whole purpose of encryption with modern
telecommunication is to provide for the privacy interest, of commercial
interest of the average citizen. And so I think it's important that we
work together to ensure the law enforcement capacity and ensure that the
present capacity to get court-ordered authorities for surveillance are
continued and are made real, while at the same time ensuring privacy.
Q So you're saying that the phone company would have the
responsibility? Do they have the capability of encrypting?
ATTY GEN. RENO: The phone company doesn't have it. There would be
a system whereby a key would be provided through third parties or
otherwise. But this is something that we need to work together on to
ensure that law enforcement interests are protected and that privacy
interests are protected as well.

****************

HEARING OF THE HOUSE INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS COMMITTEE
SUBJECT: ORGANIZED CRIME
CHAIRED BY: REPRESENTATIVE BEN GILMAN (R-NY)
LOUIS FREEH, DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
2172 RAYBURN HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1997
10:00 A.M EDT

REP. : Following up on what Mr. Hyde said on your need to
fight international crime and terrorism, what do you need, as an agency
director and for your agency, in terms of specifics to wage a fight that
you can win?
MR. FREEH: Yes, sir. As I mentioned in my statement, I think we
need it on three levels. We need the permanent and minimal FBI presence
overseas to develop the kinds of relationships that Dr. de Gennaro and I
have had now for 18 years.
We have asked for, and the Congress approved last year, in August
of 1996, a plan to expand the FBI's Ligat (sp) program from approximately
23 to 43 Ligats. That would call for, by the end of 1999, 146 special
agents in 42 different countries with 116 support employees. That's a
total of 262 people. As I mentioned, the plan was submitted last year. It
wasn't just an FBI plan. It was jointly submitted by the State Department
and the attorney general. And we've asked for funding in the 1998 and 1999
budgets to reach that level.
We've also asked for a continuation of the training. As I
mentioned, we've been able to train thousands of police officers around the
world. The benefit of that training is two-fold. First of all, we can
give them what they need most of all, which are the basic tools to conduct
their own investigations.
Just as importantly, we develop through those relationships, as Dr.
de Gennaro described it, the cop-to-cop contacts and relationships. So an
FBI agent or a DEA agent can pick up the phone and speak to a police
commander in Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan, if that's the place where we need to
do our work. So the training is a very important part of the whole program.
And again, and finally, we need the technological tools to do our
work. We have to be able to communicate rapidly and securely. We have to
deal with encryption. We have to deal with cyber-crime. And those are all
part of a larger technological challenge which we're trying to meet.

[...]

REP. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC): Thank you, John.
Director Freeh, appreciate your testimony. It's been quite
riveting, actually. One of the briefing papers we have indicates that the
American public, in a recent poll, whatever you want to take polls worth,
say that 70 percent of the American people who were surveyed found it
likely that the United States could be attacked by terrorist groups within
the next decade using smuggled nuclear devices. If you were asked that,
what category would you be in?
MR. FREEH: I think it's a threat and a possibility that should
occupy our highest priority. I think we've seen attacks certainly in
Oklahoma, in New York City. We know that many of the state sponsors of
terror, including Iran, are rapidly and very aggressively acquiring nuclear
technology, both in terms of warheads and launching devices. We know that
many of the state sponsors of terrorism, particularly Iran, sponsor and
fund and control Hezbollah groups, including groups which have connections
and operations in the United States.
So the links, although I don't think I've seen them in a documented
form, clearly suggest that if a terrorist is willing to use a truck bomb to
blow up a building with thousands of people at risk, the accomplishment of
the particular objective would not be changed or influenced by the
opportunity to use a much more devastating (nuclear?) or biological or
chemical agent.
So I think we have to take the possibility extremely seriously and
we have to take drastic steps to try to prevent and detect that.

****************

[This thanks to John Young. --Declan]

Remarks by Senator Jon Kyl at the First International Conservative
Congress--September 28, 1997

[...]

The Clinton Administration pursues a foreign policy without
clear goals or the will to act decisively and is squandering
the national security means left to it by a dozen years of
Republican presidency. It emphasizes hope over reality and
reliance on arms control agreements like the Comprehensive
Test Ban Treaty (CTBT), the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM)
Treaty, and the Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC) over a
stronger defense. And political benefit over national
security, as in its decisions to cave in to the concerns of
some in industry in irresponsibly relaxing export controls on
key items like encryption technology and supercomputers.

****************

-------------------------
Declan McCullagh
Time Inc.
The Netly News Network
Washington Correspondent
http://netlynews.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                        Anarchist Post of the...(Ouch!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Damn it, Baby!" the Tourette Tic grabbed his elbow and rubbed it.

Baby had never bitten him that hard before, and it hurt like hell.

"OK, I apologize for the sexist joke I emailed to all of those poor,
unsuspecting people."

The Tourette Tic knew that Baby had bitten him to keep him from using the
same chapter title, once again, but he also knew that his sexist joke was
what had put her in a bad mood to start with.
"And I'll use a different chapter heading for the next chapter, OK?"

Baby sat down on the bed, and resumed chewing on the moose bone she had
brought home in the middle of the night from some poacher's stash. She had
made her point.

"People with Tourette Syndrome often get caught up in repetitious cycles of
thought and action." the Tourette Tic was speaking to himself, now, since
Baby was putting all of her attention of the moose bone, wrestling it into
submission as it tried to escape her grasp.
"And sometimes we swear, too, you little cunt."

Baby put her bone down for a moment gave the Tourette Tic a cold stare,
challenging him to continue with this sexist line of thought.

"OK, I apologize." the Tourette Tic said, hastily, but couldn't resist
adding, "I forgot that you're on the rag...Ouch!"

Baby trotted back to her bone and resumed her attack on it, having
disciplined her alleged master for giving rein to his sexist leanings. Men...

"<FemiNazi>..." the Tourette Tic muttered, glancing at Baby, nervously.

Baby pretended she hadn't heard that last comment, but she secretly smiled
as she continued pulling at a piece of sinew on the end of the moose bone.
He was lucky he had her around to keep him on his toes, or there was no
telling how far he would backslide into the bowels of sexist bachelorhood.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You can hardly blame him, though." Alexis spoke the words that all of the
members of the Magic Circle were thinking as they read the last few chapters
of 'InfoWar' that had been submitted by the head of the 'Department of
Redundancy Department.'

"True." the Cowboy agreed. "Ever since Lying Fuck Louis Freeh made the
mistake of tipping his hand, the CypherPunks have risen to the challenge by
inundating the list with a plethora of perceptive and poignant posts."

"Cowboy!" Priscilla said sternly, "Are you making fun of the tendency of
people with Tourette Syndrome to get caught up in alliteration, wherein they
titillate their tonsils, tending to repeatedly recite repartee redundantly
representing repetitive phrases?"

"Yeth." the Cowboy admitted, making fun of the lisp that Priscilla had been
blessed with as a child, only overcoming the tendency in adulthood.

"OK, that does it..." Jonathan spoke up, shaking his head at the inane
attitude that the others had been projecting since their last use of the
Trei Transponder.

"I am going to reveal to the readers of Part III of The True Story of the
InterNet, just how depraved you people are, by adding 'The Plot of the
Platypus' to this chapter, and letting them know that you all found it
hilarious."

Bubba Rom Dos stood up, looking offended.
"I resent the implication," he said, "that I am so insensitive as to laugh
at the physical disabilities of others. I just happened to think of
something extremely funny from my past, at the same time that I was reading
'The Plot of the Platypus' missive."

"Me, too." Priscilla added, giggling. "I was thinking of the first time that
Bubba and I had sex."

The whole group roared with laughter. Jonathan took it as a sign from the
Tao that he should indeed add the suggested missive to the chapter, in order
to ensure that the readers of 'InfoWar' would understand the truth spoken by
Winifred G. Barton, founder of the Bartonian Metaphysical Society and the
Institute of Applied Metaphysics, when she said, "Always take metaphysics
seriously. Never take yourself seriously."

"Nuke DC!" Bubba said, and called up the post onto the GraphiScreen,
whereupon Jonathan merged it with the message to the sexist by A Dog To Be
Named Earlier.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Plot of the Platypus
From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Organization: Replay and Company UnLimited
To: cypherpunks@toad.com

                 ********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **********
                 WARNING!!! Plot of the Platypus !!!WARNING
                 ********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **********

Since the death of Dale Thorn, I have lurked silently in the list
background while observing the creeping conspiracies continually
compromising cypherpunk costs.
I mean..."posts." {Damn, now I'm doing it, too.}

Doing what, you ask?
How did you know what I said? Are you with the MIND POLICE?
AM I SURROUNDED??!!!??

{Oh...I see that I put that thought in brackets, where you could
read it. Whew! Had me worried for a minute, there.}

To continue...
Being an anonymous coward who hides behind remailers the few times
that I post, I have been somewhat hesitant, nonetheless, to reveal
the observations and accompanying thoughts about the direction that
the cypherpunks lissed has taken {Damn, that's twice, already. I may
be infected, like many of the others} since the end of the Nazi
moderation/censorship experiment.
While other, more vocal, list members were celebrating the apparent
'victory' over the Johnboot of fascism being lifted from our typing
fingers, I had a troubled mind, worrying whether the evil forces
were truly vanquished or whether they had merely escaped by way of
the anonymous remailers, to the negative pole, where they would
bide their time and prepare to strike again.

I was counting on the shit-disturbers, chiefly Dale Thorn, to
keep a practiced eye out for signs of the evil farces {Was that a
typo, a Freudian slip, or another sign of the mind infection that
is rapidly spreading on the list?} regrouping to once again try
to destroy the cypherpunks list.
Suddenly, Dale disappeared--faster than you can say, "Jimmy Hoffa."
For a time, Toto attempted to carry on in his stead, but I *knew*
Dale Thorn, and Toto is no John F. Kennedy.
{Shit! Now I'm beginning to steal and corrupt the words of others.
I'm not certain I like the implications of this. The plot may go
even deeper than I previously thought...}

Where was I...?
Oh, yes...the Plot of the Platypus...

William H. Geiger III writed:
> A prime example is the welfair class in America.
*^^*

Anonymous rote:
> Many in the welfair class have their basic needs met by...
*^^*

Then, in a startling development,
? the platypus wrote:
>(Australia, most of europe ect have higher welfare rates).
... *^^^^^^^*
>Please excuse my spelling as I suffer from agraphia see the url in my
header.

Notice anything a little bit *strange* in the above quotes?
Suddenly, "? the Platypus" is the only one of this group that
can spell welfair...warfair......welfare.
{Damn! What's that clinging to my back?}

What is going on here? As the Platypus's spelling gets better, the
other list members' spelling gets worse.

For example:

Ray Arachelian sayhed:
> what shal be the punishment? If the one who takes the order...
*^*
> reposability, then the one giving the order must be doubly...
*^^*

Tim May wroted:
> Agraphia or not, this is one of the lamest posts I've seen in years.
> Wealth is to be taken from those who have worked for it or put their
> capitcal at risk
*^*

The CypherPunk Philosophist King, lame-ing while flame-ing? Worse
yet, while flame-ing about lame-ing?
Lame-ing while flame-ing about lame-ing? Fucking up his spelling
while taking a cheap-shot at someone's disability in their ability to
'dis' someone with proper spelling?
And then, after his "capitcal" misfire, the object of his scorn
returns fire with a correct spelling of "redistribution?"

? the Platypus correctly scripted:
> The US has one of the lowest rates of wealth redistribution in the...

Am I making too much of this? A few simple typo's, you say? Perhaps
an occasional slip of the finger--a momentary lapse of mind and/or
memory, leading to a misspelled word?
{Or is it 'mispelled'? I don't know, and I'm afraid to look it up.
I could use the spell checker, but... No! It's too dangerous.}

It's the Plot of the Platypus, I tell you...I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!
I did extensive analysis of the list posts in the last few months,
and I can state with absolute certainty that for every slight
improvement in the quality of the Platypus's spelling, there is a
court responding decease in the Kuala-T of many of T ohter libsp
mambors spealing.
{See? Do you SEE!?!? IT'S EVEN HAPPENING TO *ME* NOW.}

That's not all. Just like before, others on the list are acting as
the shills for the chief instant gator of this spelling tragivesty.

Bill Stewart, a conscienshous speller, said:
> [If you're going to rant about government-provided education,
> _please_ spell most of your words correctly, or let technology help
> you...]

See? Do you SEE?!?
The subtle slams by the co-conspirators are beginning. It's the
next stage...
"Having a little trouble with your spelling there, pal? There's no
more censorship, so you can say anything you want...as long as you
can SPELL it! Haaa...haaaa...haaa."

The ebil fartses are once again attempting to split the cybferpukes
lissed in2 too kamps--the good spellers and the bag speelers.
Think about it. Have you ever heard of "agraphia" before? Ever known
anyone that had it? Of course not! It was developed in an underground
lavoratory in Area 51 by reptilian Nazis.
Well, maybe not "reptilian", but Nazis, just the same.

And LOOK! I'm using double-quotes! *Misplaced* double-quotes,
nonetheless.
THE MARKS OF THE *TOTO*!!!

The conspiracy is spreading fast. It's everywhere. Kent Crispin,
government schill {Damn! I even spell 'shill' like Toto, now. At
least I managed to use single quotes this time, like we did in
the old days, before the censorship crisis...which just 'happened'
to happen shortly after Toto happeared out of nowhere...}

Where was I...? Oh, yes...
Crispin, who has long previously been the target of many vicious
attacks by both Toto and the Platypus, is now showing signs of
the government generated Platyagraphia and the double-quote marks
of the Toto.

Kent Crispin <kent@songbird.com> say-heyed:
>will force the "welfair class" to become productive citizens or die.
^ ^^^ ^

Or is Kent Crispin, gubormint chill, marking funds of the wrist
of U.S.? Is he laughtering at uds B-hynd R backs?
Is he a bubble agent in the Plop of the Paperplutz?

Still skeptical? Wait!! There's more!!!
{No, not the Ginsu knives, you fools. I'm talking about the Plop
of the Pretty Puss.}

Think about the following pots, which wah *snot* sent to the list
in order to hide the troops from the simplefucks lips dismemberers.
Since it was not cent 2 the lips, I had to make it up, and now
I'm a forager, like Tutu making those bag fridgeries of ohter
cheaples pastes when he abuses their names without having their
parsimmons to accuse their name for making his own pissed to the
cyberhunks lost.

------- Begin Pretty Good Pretending-------
PGP: Bad Spelling Virgin 0.1

To: ciderpundits@tao.dot.commie
From: TheBadSpellingForger <i_can__spell_good@anytime.I.please>
Subject: Make Con$piracy La$t
Date: {I'm typing it *now*, you idiot.}

Tired of being a LOSER? Tired of failing in your list takeover
bids while others, like the _fuck_you_morons_ spammer, AOL'ers,
and blonde bimbos with huge breasts are getting ahead in life?
Tired of not getting your secret cypherpunks decoder ring, like
the others, because you don't use an "authorized" operating
system, and you can't spell "welfare" even though you're on it?

Join the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST today,
and turn your life around.
{No Bullshit! This conspiracy is so fucking secret that *nobody*
knows about it--NOT EVEN ME! I had to make it up! That's how
secret it is.}

Good gays Finnish lost. Why do they "Finnish lost"? Because
they waste their time with correct spelling, proper placement
of quotation marks, and trying to develop a consistent list
persona when there are already millions of Internet identities
out there already, just waiting to be abused.

Face it, it's the assholes that usually end up on top, and not
just because most people sleep on their stomachs. So why are
you WASTING YOUR TIME being a good gay, when the assholes are
making the BIG BUCKS by putting naked pictures of big bucks
fucking big butts on their "Native American Nude MLM" web site?

Tired of being an anarchist? Tired of waiting for Jim Bell
to rat you out as being a co-conspirator in his evil plot
to overthrow the government? Tired of standing in front of your
mirror, trying to practice acting surprised when armed forces
from a dozen government agencies kick down your door to announce
that someone nuked D.C., and they'd like to "ask you a few
questions?"
Join the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. Do it
TODAY, and you will be guaranteed a secret cypherpunks decoder
ring when the people who pull our strings pass a law criminalizing
them (except for use in meeting the legitimate needs of secret
conspirators against the cypherpunks list).

Listen to what these Secret Conspirators have to say:

Peter Trei:
"Hi. I used to be a boring guy. I was so boring that none of the
assholes on the list even bothered insulting me, or forging posts in
my name.
"Then one day, my life suddenly changed. Someone forged a post to
the list in my name, and it was exciting. It was like getting robbed
at gunpoint. What a rush!
"When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't face going back to my
normal, moral, ethical, boring life. I sent an anonymous post to the
list--as TruthMonger! It felt good, like being elected to a government
office by lying to people, but I wanted MORE. I began forging posts to
the list using other people's identities. If they complained to the
list, then I killed them, and assumed their list identities. It felt
like driving INSLAW into bankruptcy, stealing their software, and
murdering those who knew too much!
"Now I am Peter Trei, boring cryptographer, by day, but I am any
exciting, unethical asshole I want to be, at night.
"I liked the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST so
much that I *stole* the conspiracy. "? the Platypus" has nothing
to do with the Plot of the Platypus, I'm just making fun of his
disability, like a real asshole. Toto has nothing to do with it,
either. He's such a loser that everyone on the list can spot his
forgeries. (Well, they "used to could". But now that I can mimic
his style and have hacked his Sympatico account, I can deny all
of this from my real list persona tomorrow, and nobody will be
the wiser.)
"I'm not just a user of the cypherpunks list, I'm an abuser."

Kent Crispin:
"This isn't Peter's conspiracy, its MINE! I mean, get real, I
work in a secret underground lavoratory as a government shill.
"Think about it. Who would you expect to conspire against a
bunch of anarchists...the government! You all know how much I
love the government and authority. I'm Louis Freeh's secret
lover. Janet Reno is going to have my baby.
"It's me! *I* am the one behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST
THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. I'm a STATIST, for God's sake, why won't
you believe me?
"Because I'm not one of the elitist 'chosen?' Fuck you."

Tim May:
"God, I *love* this list."

Robert Hettinga:
"Hey! If you check the archives, you'll find that I said that
in a post, long before anyone else did."

TruthMonger:
"Now Hettinga is stealing Tim May's lines. What the hell is
going on, here? Has *everybody* on this list gone crazy?
"*I* am the one who is *really* behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY
AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. Think about it. Everyone knows
that I'm a 33rd degree Mason. No...that's Tim May.
"Fuck this shit. From now on, I'm posting as Toto."

John Perry:
"This has gone on long enough. I'm killing this thread.
...I mean..."post." ...I mean...
"Shit! I'm not the list moderator, yet. That's *after* we
take over the list."
"Sorry."

------- End Pretty Good Pretending-------

...

~~~~~~~ Begin Note From Igor ~~~~~~~
Do you all remember the Perl script I was working on for mimicking the
posts of other people? Well, this post is the latest product of that
script. What do you think? Is it convincing? Did you really believe
that it was actually written by one or more of the people mentioned
in the post?
I think that I finally have the Perl script to the point where I can
effectively fool most people about the true source and method of a
computer generated post's actual origins.
I was thinking about adding a conspiratorial part about myself. I was
going to intimate that the fact that I was so active on the list during
the censorship crisis, playing the skeptic who was gradually brought
around to the truth of Dale Thorn and Toto's claims, then volunteering
to host the list and quietly disappearing into the background, might
indicate that *I* was really behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE
CYPHERPUNKS LIST.
In the end, I decided against it, because then the readers would be
left with the notion that perhaps even this explanatory note from me
was bogus, and that there really was an ongoing SECRET CONSPIRACY
AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST.

~~~~~~~ End Note From Igor ~~~~~~~

                                 **********
                                 DISCLAIMER
                                 **********

        THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!

There is no conspiracy by a secret government to destroy
the Constitution, enslave the people, and rule the world.

Individual cypherpunks are not being imprisoned and murdered
and replaced with Identity Bots. There is no need to worry.

Declan McCullagh can confirm all of this. You can trust him.
He is your representative in D.C. He did *not* give secret
testimony against Jim Bell in return for a byline in the
"Time" magazine cover story. That is just a rumor. Well, not
yet, maybe, but it will be, very soon.

Remember, this is just a normal mailing list with a few list
members who are a little odd. There are no spooks. There is
no background intrigue. This whole privacy thing has just been
blown a bit out of proportion. It's really not that important.

Waco was just a tragic accident. Ruby Ridge was a simple error
in judgment by a government agent who really feels bad about
following his superiors orders. Heavily armed U.S. Marines are
no match for a goat-herding boy with a .22, and it is only by
the grace of God that they are alive today. Oswald acted alone.

                                lai;ekrjke ^C
        THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!

There is no conspiracy by a secret government to destroy
the Constitution, enslave the people, and rule the world.
dakl;jdafkl;jad;jfa ^C ^C
Oswald acted alone. Bears are Catholic. The Pope shits in
the woods. The government is concerned for your welfair.
*^^^*
ldfafd;ljfd; ^C^X^C

        THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!

da;lkdf ^C
THERE IS *NO* welfair ad;fljadf;
*^^^*
ad;sljf;afj ^C ^C ^C

THERE IS *NO*
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!
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                        "The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre"

                 "WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs"

           "InfoWar (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')

                Soviet Union Sickle of Eunuchs Secret WebSite
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