From: Jonathan Wienke <JonWienk@ix.netcom.com>
Date: Sat, 1 Nov 1997 12:08:13 +0800
To: cypherpunks@cyberpass.net
Subject: Halloween Humor
Message-ID: <3.0.3.32.19971031195631.006f4604@popd.netcruiser>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



A Cypherpunk To Be Named Later purchases a new hunting rifle and moves to
Alaska to try it out bear hunting.  After a few days of hunting, he sees a
moderately decent-sized black bear, and with one perfectly placed shot,
kills it.  Unfortunately, while watching the black bear collapse, he feels
a tap on his shoulder; turning around, he sees a large brown bear.  "I saw
what you just did," says the bear.  "You have two choices.  Either I maul
you to death, or you and I can step behind that rock over there and engage
in the sort of activity Vulis usually attributes to Timmy Mayonnaise."
Reluctantly, the Cypherpunk accepts the second alternative.

Several days later, when the Cypherpunk is sufficiently recovered to sit
comfortably, he decides to avenge his honor.  After several hours of
stalking, he centers the cross hairs of his riflescope on the brown bear's
[deleted] and fires.  While watching the brown bear die a slow and
agonizing death, he feels a tap on the shoulder.  Turning around, the
Cypherpunk sees an enormous grizzly bear.  "I saw what you just did," says
the grizzly.  "You have two choices.  Either I eat you alive, or you and I
can step behind that tree over there and I will show you what New York City
Police officers really carry batons for."  Reluctantly, the Cypherpunk
accepts the second alternative.

Several weeks later, after the bleeding stops and his toilet schedule
returns to normal, the Cypherpunk once again enters the woods, this time
seeking the grizzly bear.  After searching for several days he finds the
grizzly bear and shoots him.  While he is cutting off the grizzly's
[deleted], he once again feels a tap on the shoulder.  Turning around, he
sees a gigantic polar bear.  The polar bear looks at him and says, "You
don't come out here for the hunting, do you?"


Jonathan Wienke

PGP Key Fingerprints:
7484 2FB7 7588 ACD1  3A8F 778A 7407 2928
3312 6597 8258 9A9E D9FA  4878 C245 D245 EAA7 0DCC

"If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude
greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace.
We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that
feeds you. May your chains set lightly upon you; and may posterity forget
that ye were our countrymen."
-- Samuel Adams

"Stupidity is the one arena of of human achievement where most people
fulfill their potential."
-- Jonathan Wienke

RSA export-o-matic:
print pack"C*",split/\D+/,`echo "16iII*o\U@{$/=$z;[(pop,pop,unpack"H*",<>
)]}\EsMsKsN0[lN*1lK[d2%Sa2/d0<X+d*lMLa^*lN%0]dsXx++lMlN/dsM0<J]dsJxp"|dc`