From: Gary Harland <foggy@gilligan.netisle.net>
Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 11:36:21 +0800
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Re: Latest Clinton Dodge?
Message-ID: <Pine.LNX.3.95.980126191937.29500A-100000@gilligan.netisle.net>
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>Clinton said this morning:
>   
>>>>
>I want you to listen to me. I'm
>going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that
>woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time
>-- never. These allegations are false.
><<<<
>   
>The question then becomes, of course, what does "sexual relations"
>mean?
>   
>Is it oral sex?
>   
>-Declan

It seems to be some sort of 'southern thing'. Of course a good Catholic
boy from Detroit would never swallow (opps!) a sleezy end-run around
the moral goal-posts of life like that. I can think of no better authority
to invoke than Kinky Friedman, the immortal bard of Kerrville, Texas and
notorious ring-leader of the band known as "The Texas Jewboys" ( famous
for such country & western hits as "They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus
Anymore", "I'm Proud To Be An Asshole From El Paso", "The Ballad of Charles
Whitman", and many others - all available on his recently released CD).
Hit it Kinky!...

  Waitret, Please, Waitret
  (Kinky Friedman, Major Boles, Roscoe West)
  
   Well, I pulled into Dallat on a cold December day
   Bought coffee and a doughnut at the Greasy Spoon Cafe,
   Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray,
   But she couldnt believe her sweet young ears when the waitret heard me
   say:
   
   Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
   Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace.
   Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case
   Waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
   
   Well, I walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean,
   The waitret said, Hey, stupid, thats a, thats a cigarette machine!
   Well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet,
   And if that there aint a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette!
   
   Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
   Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace.
   Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case
   And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
   
   Youre the prettiest thing in Dallat, is Dallat your home ?
   No, I come all the way from Houton and I feel so all alone.
   I used to live in Autin then I moved up to big D
   In hopes to get my big break on national TV.
   
   Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
   Eatin aint cheatin, Lord it aint no disgrace.
   Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it, make it a case
   Waitret, waitret, waitret, waitret, sit down on my fate.

It's even funnier with the music of course. Kinky Friedman
(http://www.kinkyfriedman.com) was kind of a 70's cult figure.
He now writes mystery novels. According to Willie Nelson, 
...the best whodunit writer to come along since Dashiell
What's-his-name." 

As for Clinton, what can I say? What a pathetic, third-rate
dickhead. Somebody flush the White House. It's starting to
stink.

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