From: TruthMonger <tm@dev.null>
Date: Fri, 16 Jan 1998 14:24:58 +0800
To: president@whitehouse.gov
Subject: I'm going to count to ten...
Message-ID: <34BEF573.1221@dev.null>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain



BadBillyC,
  I thought you'd finally come to your senses.
  The headline read, "Clinton Urges Feinstein To Run." Delighted, I
scanned the page for the picture of you pumping a round into the
riot gun, with a caption quoting you as saying, "I'm going to count
to ten..." Sadly, upon reading the accompanying news blurb, it became
apparent that the women in your life give you just as much trouble
when you're keeping Little Peter out of the relationship, as they do
when you let him bend you to his will.

  Jesus, BillyC, where do you get these broads?
  It's par for the course for a politician to have the morals of a two
dollar whore, but when they have the brains and the heart of a two
dollar whore, as well, then you can't hang out with them without 
"gettin' some on'ya."
  As far as that mutt-faced, child-murdering bitch in Justice goes, I
assumed that Buddy was brought in to replace her, but I was wrong again.
If that dumb Nazi cunt keeps popping up in the SunSite GunSight I've
got trained on BadBillyG, then I'm going to take care of her sorry ass
by telling BillyG how to tie her tubes in a knot.
  1. Buy the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, and begin construction
 on the new MicroSoft Headquarters Building.
  2. Place media ads suggesting that the citizens of Redmond consider
 sending their children to a safer location until the DOJ action against
 MicroSoft has reached a conclusion.
  3. Hold employee fire drills twice a day, and give visitors to
 MicroSoft Headquarters a sheet containing safety instructions in
 the event of an armed government assault during their visit.
  4. Train bright lights and blaring loudspeakers on the MicroSoft
 Compound several times per day, in order to prepare employees for
 possible government action.

  Think I'm kidding, Bubba?
NEWS FLASH!!! 
San Francisco Chronicle / January 13, 1998 / Page C1
SUN FOCUSES IN ON NT MARKET - New Unix workstations priced as low as $3,000
  Sun Microsystems today will launch a new line of inexpensive workstations aimed at blunting the spread of 
powerful Windows NT
desktop computers in the high-profit technical market.
...

  Golly, gee. The poor bastards are being forced by BadBillyG to
offer their products at a reasonable price in order to get a share
of the market. Isn't life hard...
  After years of waiting for these pricks to begin facing enough
competition to have to come down off of their high-horse and deliver
a product at a price the average joe could at least contemplate, the
DOJ is trying to put a lid on the competitor who is delivering the
goods for a reasonable price.

  Netscape? I got MicroSoft Exploiter for free, but I still use 
Netscape, which I also got for free.
  Buy Netscape? Kiss my lily-white ass, Bubba. I pay for the son-of-a-
bitch every time it takes me five minutes, instead of one, to download
the ton of advertising on a website that is brought to me courtesy of
the wonderful browser folks who are designing their software for
corporate advertising and sales departments, instead of for my benefit.

  Let's get our cards on the table here, BillyBob.
  I'm sure that you're getting some good campaign-contribution mileage
out of the Micro$not Ba$her Coalition, and would like to squeeze M$
for a good chunk of change, as well, but there is a serious flaw in
your game-plan.
  For starters, BadBillyG already gets much of what he wants by 
working the actual power-points in the corporate/political structure,
instead of fucking away large amounts of time, money and energy on
the power-players who may or may not be able to control those who
actually control the power-points.
  Secondly, you cannot be certain that myself or some other lunatic
will not storm M$ Corporate Headquarter$ and take the employee$ ho$tage,
demanding that BillyG donate a million dollar$ a day to the Democratic
Election Campaign to guarantee their $afe release. While the public is
willing to pretend that the anti-trust action is for their benefit, I
sincerely doubt that they are willing to be made fools of by denying
the obvious implication that such an action would be consistent with
current political maneuvers, but infinitely more direct and honest than
the maze of deceit and lies that those currently in power use to achieve
the same ends.

  I am beginning to froth at the mouth and drool on myself, so I suppose
that I should get to the point, and sign off shortly.

Bottom line: Look out of your office window. Do you see the sniper,
  sitting on the rooftop of...

  OK, just kidding...
  Seriously, I am certain that there are millions of sheeple who slapped
their foreheads and proclaimed, "Who'da thunk it?", when they read such
recent news headlines as:
	"Nixon Knew!"
	"Joe Camel Designed To Lure Teens!"
	"Scientists Discover Earth is Round!"
  The point is, there are also a few chosen individuals (presumably
including yourself, but not necessarily Dan Quayle) who had already
figured these things out for themselves, long before the mainstream
media pronounced them as officially acceptable reality-bytes.
  Some of these selected individuals belong to agencies, organizations
and groups which overtly or covertly work within the established socio-
politico-economic structure to guide and direct the future of society,
government, civilization, and human development.
  And some of them work outside of, or within-yet independent of-the 
officially established structures...

  I am certain you are aware that there are certain individuals and 
organizations who have been actively preparing to take advantage of the 
increasingly popular boogeyman known as the 'Millennium Bug', while
keeping quiet about it so as not to alert others as to the true import
of the problem in regard to the radical nature of the changes which
will accompany it in the socio-politico-economic arenas of society.
  What you are undoubtedly unaware of, however, is that most of the
major players within the established power-structure are sucking 
hind-tit to a variety of techno-guerilla cells formed many years ago
to influence and/or counteract the activities of those who were making
plans to manipulate the situation to benefit the few and the powerful.
  The importance of these individuals is not in the particular nature
or scope of their activity, but in the fact that they are quite simply
volunteers who, unasked, have separated themself from the crowd around
them and committed themself to 'charging the hill' that they see needs
to be taken in order to provide safety and protection for their fellow
soldiers.

  One of these individuals is a soldier who was taken prisoner and
interred in a German prison camp in 1943.
  The fact of the matter is, he was a German national of French descent
who robed himself in the uniform of a fallen aviator in order to get
himself incarcerated for the purpose of helping Allied prisoners of
war to escape and successfully find their way to safety.
  The man was a shipping clerk who knew nothing of war, the military,
or the like, but who did what he felt must be done, despite his obvious
unsuitability and inexperience for the task. What I will never forget
is the puzzled look I saw on his face when someone tried to express
sympathy for the trials and tribulations he faced as a result of his
actions. His answer was to the effect that, "It was the price to be
paid for the decision I made...I knew that going in. It was the price
of freedom."

  The point I am trying to make is that the DOJ actions against M$
could probably be described by reference to a song I once wrote about
a cross-eyed girl, titled, "If Looks Could Kill, You'd Only Be Hurting
Yourself."
  The IRS, Treasury Department and the IMF are going to have all they
can handle just trying to tread water when the Millennium Bug throws
a good screw into their butts. BadBillyG and the Micro$not Exploiter
Bowling Team are going to take home their share of the New Millenium
trophies, but Blanc Weber and Jeff Sandquist are crazy-gluing enough
of the pins to the floor to make sure that the employees of Nut$crape
and $un can still put shoes on their childrens' feet.
(I've got to admit that your spin doctors are doing a damn fine job
 of building public sympathy for corporate executives who earn more
 in a year than Jane and Joe Public will earn in a lifetime.)

  In closing, I would like to assure the members of the various 
government and private agencies involved in investigating me as a
result of my thinly veiled virtual-death-threats against sundry world
leaders and titans of industry that their efforts are not a waste of
time.
  I honestly consider myself a viable prospect as a corporate/political
assassin--it's just that circumstances invariably arise which preclude
my acting on what I instinctively know to be the right course of action.
  In essence...I'm only human.

  From the corporate perspective, I knew years ago that IBM executives
deserved to die a slow and horrible death, but I could never quite
bring myself to overcome my resistance to destroying some truly great
suits in the process.
  I have had BadBillyG in my gunsights and headlights several times
over the years, but I would always back off when overcome by the urge
to tickle him under the chin, and call him  "little feller."

  As far as politics goes...
  I couldn't whack Nixon because he was so patently evil that his 
ultimate destiny is to be reincarnated as himself, and nothing I could
do to him could compare to that.
  Gerald Ford wasn't worth the trouble, since it seemed likely that he
would kill himself by bumping his head on some inanimate object, anyway.
  Jimmy Carter never really existed, politically, as far as I was
concerned. One of us slept through his administration, and I think it
was him...
  Reagan...after his statement that "Trees cause more pollution than
automobiles.", it would have been like whacking out a retarded kid. 
It was no accident that a movie actor was the target of an assassination 
by someone who watched one too many movies. I washed my hands of 
his involvement in the American political structure by writing 
a song called, "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For The Monkey..."

  George Bush was a conspiracy theorist's dream. He had so much shit
on his stick that the wise move was to leave him alone until his
tenure was in the history books, and then lay out a documented trail
leading from the financial source of his backing originating in profits
from Nazi business dealings during World War II --> to his bald-faced
audacity in trumpeting the rejuvenation of the Third Reich's 'New World
Order.' (But, when Bush was President, "...the trains ran on time.")

  Then, we have 'Slick Willie'.
  Apologies in advance, but you have pretty much been nailed as a
dope-smoking, draft-dodging, drug-dealing adulterer who has a history
of questionable business dealings ranging from real-estate fraud to
selling post-mortem military honors to people who died fucking their
brains out in the Lincoln bedroom in return for illegal campaign
contributions.
  My gut instinct tells me that there have probably been dozens of
potential assassins who have had you lined up in their gunsights, only
to see your silly grin and realize that you are not a whole lot 
different from themselves.

  "To him who does what within him lies, God will not deny his grace."
	~Saint Thomas Acquinas

  Nixon was a ratfucker, plain and simple. He didn't really *need* to do
the things that he did--he did them because he was willing to sell his
soul in order stretch every mile gained by legitimate effort an extra
inch or two by taking the dark path.
  The fact of the matter is, the Presidency requires an individual who
is capable of being a two-faced, double-dealing ratfucker when the
situation requires it, but Republicans seem to do it for the money,
while Democrats generally seem to be more attuned to the emotional
ramifications of the illusory power of the position.
  i.e. - a Rolling Stone music critic once stated that the power in
the music played by Southern Bad-Boy Rockers came from the fact that
they genuinely believed that they were going to burn in Hell for
playing Rock & Roll, but they knew that doing so was in their blood
and their destiny.

  Do you ever find yourself blowing out bad-ass pelvic-motion darkie-
licks on the saxaphone, and wondering how in the hell you managed to
have this much fun and still scam your way into being elected as one
of the most powerful political figures in the allegedly free world?
  Do you ever wonder why lunatics such as myself give you so much
shit over promoting Nazi cunts like Reno and FineSwine, when Hillary
did some genuinely fine work in regard to health care and still got
broad-sided by statists (both male and female) who thought that there
was something inherently sinful in her not suggesting that her ideas
could be made financially feasible by holding a bake sale?
(I voted for Geraldine Ferraro, but only because I figured that we
 wouldn't have to pay her as much as a man.)

  BTW, I just received a letter from Chelsea, and she thanked me
for my compliments on her butt, but told me she didn't think it was
proper to date a psychopath who was stalking her father with a
Stihl chainsaw. (So there is little need for you to lose a lot of
sleep over the prospect of having to invite me for Thanksgiving
dinner, and call me "son.")
  I also sent a letter a few weeks ago to Ted Kaczynski, offering to
carry on his work while he is incarcerated. I got a letter back from
him today, but I'm afraid to open it...

  Anyway, I realize that I'm starting to babble incoherently, and need
to go take my medication, so I'll close by giving you a few words of
wisdom, in case there's a chance that you're banging the White House
staff person hired to screen your email.

Re: Allowing the DOJ to perform a rim-job on BillyG...
  BadBillyG has the brains to realize that he only has to hang on
for another 12 months, or so, before the Wonderful World of Computers
is up to their ass in alligators over the Year2000 bug.
  If you truly believe that an individual who became the richest person
in the world by promoting a fairly mediocre operating system is going
to bend over and lift his robe while the dipshits who were incapable of
competing with him (even when they had software and operating systems
vastly superior to his) scramble to make their Y2K-non-compliant
software comatible with their bum-buddy's Y2K-non-compliant software...
  I have some ocean-front property in Tucson, Arizona.

Re: The poor, put-upon souls competing with Micro$not...
  It has been confirmed by extensive research that the future can be
reliably predicted by taking note of the actions and reactions of the
lunatic and criminal elements of society.
  I happen to qualify on both counts...
  I enjoy the living shit out of Micro$not Ba$hing, but it pisses me 
off when the government does it...
  I will kiss your lily-white ass if you can prove to me that the  
goddamn whiners bitching about BillyG's profits are not pulling down
millions of dollars a year themselves. BillyG has a hundred billion
dollars? I don't care if he has a fucking trillion dollars...those
other whining fucks DO NOT have a God-given right to get filthy rich
by keeping the price of their products inflated through the stifling
of competition from Micro$not.
  What, exactly, is Nut$crape'$ complaint? That if Micro$not gives away
InteNet Exploiter for free, that they cannot force me to pay to acquire
a product that is designed to deliver commercial advertising to my 
screen when I surf the Net? Fuck those assholes...
  What, exactly, is $un Micro$ystem'$ complaint? That they have to 
produce products that don't cost ten times what Micro$not's products
cost, in order to capture a decent market-share? Fuck those assholes...

FRESH FROM THE CLUESERVER!!!
  I'm a fucking lunatic. I've had enough electricity run through my
brain to keep Las Vegas in business for a decade. I require intense
medication to keep from chewing on the rug and barking at the moon.
  Nonetheless, I was promoting and addressing computer issues in
the 80's that are being recognized as essential to the future of
technology at the close of the 90's. And what you should find *really
scary* is that there are sane, functional people out and about in
your world who not only know all that I do, and more, but who are
in a position to throw a serious fuck into the heart of any technology
system that the powermongers are counting on to promote their narrow
self-interests over those of the general public.

  On a recent trip between B.C. and California,  I stopped off in 
Micro$not Land long enough to vandalize the computer system in one
of their offices so that their faxes to certain locations would
translate the words "Bill Gates" into "Little Feller."
  Mission Impossible-->Mission Complete.

  Let me explain this as simply as possible.
  When the clock strikes 2000, many corporate and government agencies
can kiss thier software functionality goodbye. Many of the companies
who believe they are in a position to take advantage of the situation
will find that small anomalies exist in their systems which will take
tens of thousands of man-hours to resolve (only to discover that the
'solution' leads to another anomaly of the same nature).
  Keep in mind that what I am describing is only a small part of a
process that began in 1989, with a computer manifesto which contained
the words,
	"His Login is Panic,
	 His Password is Crash.
	 When Time is of Essence,
	 He'll Rise from the Ash."
  These words were written by a computer neophyte who recognized the
path the future would take, but who had no idea what could be done
to counteract the evil he foresaw. Others *did* know what could be
done...and more...

  The Y2K problem is quickly gaining recognition as a factor that
will lead to monumental changes in the process of separating the
winners from the losers in the coming Millennium.
  What is recognized by only a select few is that there are other
considerations which have been programmed to go hand-in-hand with
the Y2K problem which will have even greater influence on who
will emerge in the next Millennium as the chief movers and shakers
of society, government and civilization.

  In 1989, the Author wrote, "Gomez is coming."
  In 1998, the Author arrived for gomez's funeral the day before he
was assassinated. The timing of his arrival was dependent upon the
information he received from Netizens he didn't know, and had never
met. Netizens who had ears to hear, and had acted on his warnings
in ways which went far beyond the ken of his own understanding of
the prophecies which he spoke.
  The Author neither knew nor cared about the source or intentions
of those who had directed him to travel to Berkeley in time to
say a last goodbye to his friend and mentor.
  Neither did he know or care how or why he instinctively knew that
upon opening the letter he received from the alleged UnaBomber, that
his brains would be splattered upon the wall behind him, forming the
words, "TRIN--The Revolution Is NOW!"

I'm Going To Count To Ten...
~~~~~~~~~~~
TruthMonger
~~~~~~~~~~~