From: PRESIDENT <PRESIDENT@SHITHOUSE.CUM>
Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 16:22:21 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: [Fwd: School Sponsorship]
Message-ID: <35199F40.3444@SHITHOUSE.CUM>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


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[Bienfait Nutly News] PRESIDENT CLINTON, TUCKING FUNNY-MONEY INTO THE
panties of the topless dancers during their performances at the CoalDust
Saloon's 'Paula Jones and Monica Lewinski Look-Alike Contest,' took time
out from the festivities to announce plans to help prop up the nation's
decaying public school system by allowing Adult WebSites to sponsor
the latest computer technology additions to the schools' InterNet
systems.
"We don't see any harm in this," Clinton told gathered reportwhores,
who were pretty much ignoring him as they watched the dancers, "since
the children won't be able to legally access the URL's being advertised
until they are 18 years old."

In response to concerns about the increasing Corporatization of America, 
Clinton explained that this could be viewed merely as a streamlining
of the already-existing system, by eliminating the middlemen (lobbyists
and politicians) currently adding inefficiency and expense to the
Corporate exercise of free enterprise.
Clinton explained that government and corporations were working toward
a model which worked well for railways when cabooses became automated
and the workers were paid to merely ride the train back and forth.
"We will still hold elections, and attend sittings of the House and
Senate, but we'll just play cards, or read, or something..."

Clinton refused to comment on the recent brouhaha over a student in
San Francisco being expelled for life for wearing a T-shirt with
an elephant on it during a Political Correctness Event sponsored by
the Democratic Party.
He did, however, comment on the expulsion of a student at the University
of California-Bezerkeley, for wearing clothes during the ribbon-cutting
ceremonies for the Naked Guy Boutique. Clinton, looking at photographs
of the event, said, "Hubba, hubba!"
The Naked Guy, also in attendance at the CoalDust Saloon, told drunken,
groping reportwhores of both sexes, "It is my belief that the current
anti-trust actions being taken by the DOJ against the nationwide Naked
Guy Boutique Chain is nothing more than the result of political pressure
by the Anti-NakedGuy Coalition." (The first joint action by a group
composed mostly of Fundamentalist Christian groups and Adult WebSite
operators.)

TToommoorrooww: Gates Pie-Boy Gives Clinton a Wedgie...

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