From: Bienfait Nutly News <bnn@dev.null>
Date: Tue, 24 Mar 1998 21:25:10 -0800 (PST)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: The Arkansas Chainsaw Massacre
Message-ID: <351895E1.2130@dev.null>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


[Bienfait, Saskatchewan] AT A LATE-NIGHT CELEBRATION AT THE COALDUST
Saloon, members of the MeatSpace Revolutionary Arm of the Army of Dog
congratulated one another on the success of 'Operation FireDrill.'

Although their efforts to promote their violent interpretation of
'The True Story of the InterNet' manuscripts was somewhat dampened
by the fact that their young pawns did not have the strength to
pull-start the excessively large Stihl chainsaws they were provided,
and had to resort to conventional arms, the mission was still seen as
a success.
Defcon McCullagh Chainsaw, a violent terrorist who has managed to
infiltrate the mainstream media as a respected correspondent, said,
"The twisted spin that the citizens of this Bible-(spare the)Belt(spoil
the child) community will put on this tragedy will no doubt increase
the Sheeple's call for stronger censorship and repression of expression,
which will not only provide me with more material for my ineffective
columns pissing in the wind generated by the Moral Majority, but will
also hasten the MeatSpace rEvolution that will arise in response to
the unconstitutional limits which the government will impose on the
citizens under cover of the associated propaganda spewn out by their
pawns in the mainstream media."

A spokesperson for Pat Buchanan, dodging questions regarding the rumors
that the Moral Majority was snookered by the Army of Violent Dogs into
financing the operation, said, "I have no comment, except to note that
tomorrow I will release a statement clarifying what I would have 'meant
to say' during this press conference, if I had, in fact, said anything
beyond, 'No comment.'"

In a private conversation with this reportwhore, God, on the condition
that he not be quoted, said, "Dog works in mysterious ways."