From: Bienfait Nutly News <bnn@dev.null>
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 1998 07:16:47 -0700 (PDT)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Epilogue 1/0 -- SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
Message-ID: <353B5993.2C12@dev.null>
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[BIENFAIT NUTLY NEWS-MongerItaville,Co1]REPORTWHORES FOR the Bienfait
Nutly News spent the night in drunken, drug-crazed revelry at the home
of A DANGEROUSLY CRAZED VIOLENT PSYCHO KILLER TO BE NAMED LATER, while
waiting for the CoalDust Saloon to open for the day so that they could
celebrate the 'Pull-It,Sir Prize' they are certain to be awarded by
UNCLAD-PuN* for their contributions to the Bienfait Nutly News Special,
entitled '!!!KILL THE CHILDREN!!!
* Union for Naked Child Love & Death - Pedophiles und Necrophiles

Bubba Rom Dos, a fictional character from 'The True Story of the
InterNet' manuscripts being circulated by an underground computer cult
gratefully deadicated to the memory of Jerry Garcia, rode into Bienfait
on a Pink Elephant about 6 a.m., as the ninth case of beer bit the dust
and the rosy pink cheeks of the sonofgomez began peeking slowly under
the whore rising to meet the thick, dark fog lingering in her mind from
the pill that had been slipped into her drink at bar-closing time the
night before.
"Onward through the Fog!" she mumbled, as she was handed her first
offical bong of the same-new-day by Oat Willie. She had just a couple of
hours to get home and get ready for another dreary day at the
Junior-High ten KILLometers down the road, in Estevan. She saw Bubba Rom
Dos slowly appearing out of the fog and wisely turned so that her butt
was up against the wall she was using for balance.

The drunken whord of Nutly News reportwhores, gathered from around the
world for the illustrious occassion, took the appearance of Bubba,
widely known as a crazed, drunken pedophile representing a long lineage
of voices barfing in the wilderness, to mean that the BNN promotional
announcement (cleverly disguised as a news story) was about to come to
an end, and it was time to begin the serious work of actually writing
the News Special, which was thus far only a vague concept consisting of
ludicrous ideas thrown out at random during a series of mumbled and
slurred, semi-incoherent ramblings in between hashish-induced laughing
spasms, munchies attacks, and pissing contests of both a physical and
conceptual nature.
"I guess it's time to put in that right-square bracket." Defcon
McCullagh Chainsaw informed the Author. 
"What the hell is it really called?" the Author asked, causing the
gathered reportwhores to pause whatever they were doing and search their
minds for the proper word, or wonder if it wasn't just called, 'the
right-square bracket.' The attempted mental exercise was to little
avail, since the MongerItaville official motto is, "It's always drunkest
just before dawn." and they quickly found themselves sucked into the
Grateful Void in which one realizes that the Grateful Secret Of Life is
properly balancing one's drug intake and proceeds to slowly suck on a
fresh beer to counter the effects of the last bong.

The Author surveyed the suddenly serious somber scribes, and quiety
ended the promotional announcement disguised as a news report by typing
a]