From: TruthMonger <tm@replay.com>
Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 06:06:48 -0700 (PDT)
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Subject: Epilogue 666/0 - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
Message-ID: <35408DF6.5681@replay.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain


Epilogue 666/0 -- SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
_____________________________________________

Imagine:

  An average citizen legally ordering a variety of books from legitimate
mail-order publishers and distributors, such as Paladin Press,
Loopmatics, etc., and having the books sent to a private U.S. Postal
Service mailbox in Buttfuck, North Dakota.
  The citizen picking the books up late at night and stashing them in a
safe place before heading across the Canadian border in the middle of a
variety of late-night revelers returning from the Land of Cheap Drinks.
  Canadian Customs Agents tearing the citizen's vehicle apart, even
tearing open the seats, in an effort to search for some mysterious,
unnamed items of 'contraband'. (Even though they had not done this on
recent, almost daily, occassions when the citizen had crossed at the
same border station *without* picking up the books from the Post Office
box.)
  The citizen, years later, receiving confirmation from Canadian
Government documents of Customs agents knowledge of the specific
pseudonyms the various books were shipped to, which should have
theoretically only been known to the publisher and the USPS.
  The citizen, decades later, reading the court records surrounding a
lawsuit against one of the publishers, and drawing the conclusion that
the Stipulation of Undisputed Facts signed by the publisher seemed
designed to ensure that their case would be lost and thus set a
dangerous precedent in the legal wars being waged against freedom of
speech.
  The citizen having a long history of being paranoid...and right...


Imagine:
  A famous activist actress journeying to a Communist country to express
support for their cause of leftist world-domination at a time when her
democratic homeland was engaged in a massive war with that country.
  The actress marrying a like-minded individual who built a media-empire
capable of manipulating world-wide opinion in regard to wars being waged
by the former head of a secret intelligence agency who, upon becoming a
world-leader, espoused the need for a New World Order while justifying
world-wide military action under cover of joint actions with the United
Nations.
  The husband using the entertainment wing of his media-empire to
provide the citizenry with non-stop, repetitive propaganda illustrating
GoodGuys in law enforcement and the justice system violating
professional ethics, and the legal rights of BadCriminals, in the
interests of a Good Cause. (Can you say, "Matlock?" Sure, you can...) 
(Can you say, "Twenty-Four Hours of Eastwood," "Forty-Eight Hours of
Eastwood," "Four-Thousand Hours of Eastwood?" Sure, you can...)
  The husband donating a billion dollars of the money he earned
manipulating the news coverage of United Nations Police Actions
to...<gasp><surprise!>...the United Nations.


Imagine:
  A major new TV network springing up at a time when the BigThree no
longer seemed to be singing the tunes requested by the shadowy figures
from secret intelligence agencies who had been moved into industry
positions which controlled programming and schedules.
  Imagine that new network engaging in a successful march toward a
programming schedule geared toward promoting the existence of
extraterrestrial entities in our midst, and the safety of the citizens
being in the hands of armed, secretive federal government agents,
stop-search-and-seizure activities by armed local and state government
agents, video surveillance by government, law-enforcement, business and
private individuals.
  Imagine that network airing a story on May 7 which is designed to use
the individual heroism of the country's soldiers to gloss-over the fact
that their superiors threw them into a battle in which they could only
survive by engaging in the indiscriminant slaughter of men, women,
children and babies who rose to defend their homes and their country
from armed invasion by a foreign power.


Imagine:

  All major television networks, after receiving a gift of billions of
dollars of public digital airwaves, filling the airwaves with a plethora
of entertainment programs designed as propaganda to whitewash the images
of various sectors of the law enforcement community.
  The major networks providing their viewers with a wide variety of
entertainment and viewer-polls designed to suggest that their opinions
and beliefs matter, and can be adequately expressed by a phone call to
an 800 number, or by shouting along with the audience at an overweight,
communist skinhead who is beating up the sister he got pregnant for
having the Swastika tattoo surgically removed from the baby they stole
from a hospital maternity ward.


Imagine:
  Adam Shostack, sending a post to the CypherPunks list, "How I learned
to stop worrying and love anonymity," which was a clever take-off on
another post sent to the list which contained a movie-title from the
same era, "From Russia With Love."
  Adam's post being a tad 'too clever', since the 'other' post didn't
arrive on the list until over an hour later, although it had been sent
to the 'anonymous' remailer hours before Adam's clever mimicry was
composed.


Imagine:

  BadBillyG fleeing the country to avoid the potential MeatSpace threat
posed by a lunatic in a small prairie town who had driven past the local
liquor store while fiddling with his truck radio, and who continued on
across the country, through the heart of M$pace, on a soft-target tour
of North America.
  BadBillyG walking into an ambush halfway around the world, ending up
with more than one type of pie on his face.

Imagine:
  Reading Epilogue 666/0 of SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!! and finally
seeing the true extent of the Evil, far-reaching Web of Conspiracy and
Dark Energy running throughout all of civilization, government and
society, only to realize that, in the end, it all matters very little in
comparison to the fact that the rent is due next Friday, your cat is
pregnant again, and you're wasting your time reading the mad ramblings
of an asshole who forged your name to a post to the CypherPunks list
which made you look like a fucking idiot.

Imagine:

  Yourself hitting the <Delete> key...